


Dark Horse (Hogwarts/Carmilla AU)

by halmerny



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom, hogwarts - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Carmilla - Freeform, Carmilla/Harry potter - Freeform, Dark Horse, F/F, F/M, Gen, HCAU, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogwarts, Hogwarts/Carmilla AU, Hogwarts/carmilla, Laura Hollis - Freeform, carmilla karnstein - Freeform, carmilla/hogwarts, harry potter/carmilla - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 19:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3261017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halmerny/pseuds/halmerny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla's in her seventh year here at Hogwarts. She doesn't really have any friends, and when she's caught roaming the Castle after hours, Carmilla's mom, the Headmistress, forces her to do some extracurricular activities at Hogwarts and she has to try out for the Quidditch team. She later meets Laura for the first time and Laura is intent on breaking through Carmilla and befriending her. Carmilla starts breaking her walls for Laura until she finds out something about Laura that makes her immediately put every single one of those walls back up. Will they be able to maintain a friendship, or even something more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One - Everything Changes

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Carmilla fic and I know a lot of people have been wanting a Carmilla/Hogwarts AU so I decided to write one. I had a lot of trouble choosing which house to put Laura in, but I have a really nice plan with Carmilla and her housing situation. I think I made the right decision for Laura, especially in my fic. Keep in mind this is an AU and it is in no way exactly like the Carmilla we all know and I did somewhat make it my own. Hope you guys enjoy :)

The soft, repetitive tapping of her shoes against the cobblestone floor was soothing to Carmilla as she made her way down the deserted corridor to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. She muttered out the password grumpily, the door swinging open for her, allowing her to slip inside, completely undetected by any authority figure as she'd been roaming the castle after hours.

Once again, she'd found herself unable to sleep, the soft swishing of the mythical creatures in the water outside the Slytherin dormitories' window the only thing Carmilla was able to hear before she decided to walk around the castle, completely disregarding the rules set by the headmistress here at Hogwarts School of Witchraft and Wizardry. Not that she'd ever really been one to follow the rules, anyway.

Carmilla always had problems with authority. She was never good at being told what to do. Even something as simple as when she should go to sleep was something Carmilla didn't abide by. She never went to bed until about three in the morning, which wasn't ideal, since she shared a dormitory with about 5 other girls who insisted on being as loud as possible when they woke up at the crack of dawn.

She'd gotten caught a few times roaming the grounds, but usually she'd just get off with a warning, seeing as her mother was the headmistress, and everyone knew that Carmilla didn't exactly have the best realtionship with her (which was about the only thing anyone really knew about Carmilla). Maybe they pitied her and didn't want to put Carmilla through the reprimanding her mother would clearly give her. But they mostly feared the headmistress, as they probably should. She was the only person in the world Carmilla was actually scared of.

Just when Carmilla entered the common room, obviously thinking she was safe from being caught, she heard someone clear their throat and found herself face to face with the Slytherin prefect, someone with whom she's had plenty of run-ins. He's given her at least four warnings before, but the look on his face right now tells her he's not letting her off the hook that easily. The smug face is making Carmilla's hands ball up into fists at her sides. She takes deep breaths to try to keep calm, knowing very well he's going to take her to her mother.

"Where have you been?" He spits out at her, clearly already knowing the answer.

"The usual. Fighting werewolves, making out with dementors, and having unprotected sex with centaurs. Why? You jealous, Thomas? Trying to live vicariously through me?" Carmilla scoffed, turning to walk away from him but he grabbed her wrist, and she knew no amount of sarcasm or wit was going to get her out of this. She didn't want to admit it, but she was scared. She knew her mother wouldn't take this well. And for what? Just because she was _walking around_? Someone call Azkaban, because wow, she's committed a Capital offense!

"You're coming with me." He dragged her out of the common room and up the stairs to the first floor corridors, leading her to the headmistress's office, where her mother was still awake because, oh yeah, she's a vampire, too. Carmilla groaned as he knocked the heavy brass door knock, her mother opening the door in less than a minute. She looked immensely displeased, her eyes falling on Carmilla almost immediately. She raised an eyebrow and looked from Carmilla to Thomas, suddenly taking on a sweet, disarming smile as she directed her words towards the poor, oblivious boy standing in front of her. "Thank you, darling. I can take it from here." Her words, even though they were sweet, were intimidating. Carmilla knew even Thomas was terrified of her. He nodded his head and gave Carmilla a look that told her he regretted bringing her here. She rolled her eyes and stepped through the office, giving him a last look of "too late, asshole" before the door separating them closed and she was left alone with her mother.

"Again, Carmilla?" Her mother looked completely defeated, which made Carmilla's chest tighten.

"I was just taking a stroll, mother, I wasn't doing anything wr−"

"What did I tell you about breaking the rules?" Her lips press together in a thin line, a crease forming on her forehead.

Carmilla lowers her head, averting her gaze down to the floor. "I couldn't sleep." Her voice is no longer pleading. She knows she's lost this battle. She fully expects her mother to scream at her, or even hit her, since no one was around, but she just stays quiet, scrutinizing Carmilla.

"Have you made one friend since you've attended this school, Carmilla?"

What? That was not what Carmilla was expecting at all.

"What? I thought you didn't want me to−"

"Your brother seems to have no trouble fitting in here. You, on the other hand... How do you think that makes me look? I won't punish you for this, but I am insisting you join at least one school activity."

That's even worse than punishment.

"But−"

"I _insist._ In fact, there's an opening on the Slytherin Quidditch team. Tryouts are tomorrow morning. Better get a good night's sleep." Carmilla was speechless at the sudden turn of events. Quidditch? Carmilla? Interacting with other people? Part of a team? This couldn't get any worse.

She wished so badly she can respond with a sarcastic comment. _Anything else you want me to do while I'm at it? Jump off the highest tower at this school?_

__

__

She simply nodded in response, moving to walk out the door when her mother spoke again, making the hairs at the back of Carmilla's neck stand up. Just her voice alone was enough to haunt Carmilla's nightmares.

"Carmilla? I'd like for you to take up an extracurricular subject as well. It's your choice, but I wish to know your answer by tomorrow so I can transfer you into the class." She was wrong. It could get worse.

She quickly scurried out of her office and ran back to the Slytherin common room and up to her dorm, slipping into the comfort of her own bed, which still felt unsafe to her at this moment. Carmilla's mother knew the one thing Carmilla hated more than anything was people, and this was exactly the form of punishment to which she was subjecting Carmilla. In a way, it was entirely brilliant of her.

Carmilla usually got away with only taking the necessary subjects (with the exception of one or two extracurricular), and kept to herself in the back of the class. Teachers hardly picked on her, knowing her situation, and students left her alone. Most of them feared her - found her intimidating. And why wouldn't they? She hardly dressed in anything but black (on the days she wasn't required to wear her Slytherin robe). And even underneath her robe, everything was black and mostly leather. Her eyeliner was thick, making her eyes more intimidating than they already were. She liked it that way. She liked that people feared her, even though it got entirely too lonely sometimes.

But now, she knew her mother wouldn't rest until she was not only apart of a _team _−the word alone made Carmilla want to puke−but had a friend with which she can spend her "free time," essentially making her mother look like less of a failure, as long as her daughter was semi-approachable.__

She closed her eyes and found sleep came to her easier than usual, but this time her mother's face (not to mention voice) haunted her dreams, making her wake with a start as soon as she'd heard the other girls shuffling about, getting ready for breakfast.

She groaned and pulled the covers over her head, willing herself back to sleep, but the anxiety her nightmare left her feeling made it impossible for her to find restful peace. She threw the covers off her and got dressed in her usual attire, pulling her robe on over her.

She followed the girls up to the Great Hall where the chit-chat of students made her feel even queasier than she'd already felt. Her stomach grumbled and she made her way to the Slytherin table, sitting down in a particularly empty part of the table, food appearing in front of her once she'd taken her seat. She saw people staring and whispering, but she ignored them as she played with her food on her plate.

Carmilla almost never came to breakfast this early. She liked to enjoy breakfast at around noon, but that would change now, as her mother was forcing her to be more "social." Unable to finish the food in front of her, she pushed the plate away and reluctantly made her way to the Quidditch field where Slytherin was about to have tryouts.

People were shocked, to say the least, to see Carmilla there. They whispered, and some laughed, as she sat down in the stands, keeping a good distance between her and the nearest person to her. The Slytherin captain was giving everyone a speech about _teamwork_ and _equal effort_ and _sportsmanship._ What is this crap? Weren't they in Slytherin? Just when she was about so speak up with some sort of retort, the captain lowered his voice, looking at each and every one of them in a more devilish manner.

"Now, enough of this crap. We're Slytherins. We do whatever we can to win. And we always win, because we're undoubtedly the best. Each one of you will try out for the position of the Beater, since that's the only spot available. I'll call you up one by one, and you better give this your all."

Now _that's_ more like it. Carmilla watched - and laughed - as several people failed miserably at stopping the "other team," which were played (for the day) by the entire Slytherin Quidditch team. She found herself rolling her eyes quite a bit, thinking to herself that she would be much better at this. After all, the beater is supposed to distract, or stop, the other team. And what better way to do that than by constantly trying to hit them with a heavy ball that could knock them out in a heartbeat? Maybe Quidditch wouldn't be so bad, after all.

When it was finally Carmilla's turn, she smirked at everyone who was sitting down, putting on her game face. "Watch and learn," she spat out as she made her way onto the field, mounting the broom provided by the team. She lifted into the air immediately, the Slytherin teammates flying about the field, playing as if they were on the other team. The Bludger came flying at her and she got a firm grip on her bat, hitting it just in the right spot that it got in one of the flyers' way, driving her off course, which made her drop the Quaffle. Since there was no one opposing the team for the tryouts, the Quaffle fell to the floor, landing in the sand, Everyone immediately glanced at Carmilla, looking more shocked than she'd expected them to.

"And _that_ is how it's done." She smirked to herself, flying to the other side of the field. The game switched and suddenly the teammates were on her team, except for one person, who was trying to hit them with the Bludger. Her next task was to keep the Bludger from hitting one of her teammates. She almost missed it, but she dived just in time to hit it out of one of the girls she doesn't recognize's way, giving her the room to throw the Quaffle through the hoop, scoring a point for the team.

Everyone cheered and smiled at Carmilla, who found herself smiling in a moment of weakness, clearly proud of herself. She quickly wiped the smile off her face as soon as she realized it was there. Can't have people thinking she actually has a heart, now can she? She was done with tryouts, so she landed her broom, retreating back to the stands as several other people attempted to do better than Carmilla, obviously failing. She scoffed at their petty attempts, shaking her head when one of them fell off her broom, another one of the teammates catching her before she hit the ground. Pathetic.

A couple more people tried out, but none of them were as good as Carmilla clearly was. She wasn't known for being modest. The Slytherin captain, whom she'd heard people calling Matthew Wright, approached the students sitting on the bench, about to declare who was getting the spot on the team.

Carmilla found herself actually wanting to be the one chosen, despite how much she would have to interact with people in doing so. Still, it wasn't all too bad, especially if her main job was to attempt to hurt the other team, something she was clearly good at.

She took a deep breath, waiting for the announcement, and her heart leapt when she'd heard him call her name, making everyone around her scowl at her, but she didn't care, she didn't care. She'd gotten the spot, and for the first time in a really long time, she was actually looking forward to something.

\---------

Laura scurried off to her Care of Magical Creatures class, fearing once more that she'd be late. She was taking as many classes as possible this year, wanting to fit in every subject she can since it was her last year here at Hogwarts and she still didn't know what she wanted to do after she'd leave school. She finally made it, panting hard as she joined the rest of the students on the grass, right on the edge of the forests surrounding the grounds. 

She noticed there was a student standing next to the teacher that she'd never seen in her class before, and she'd recognized her as the headmistress's daughter. She had a reputation, but Laura knew better than anyone not to judge a book by its cover. Perhaps that's why she was placed in Hufflepuff by the sorting hat.

Everyone always told Laura her kindness and loyalty were her best attributes, and though she did try to be as kind to everyone as she could be, she'd always felt like the sorting hat might've misplaced her. Above any personality trait that she may have had, Laura was intelligent, and she'd always looked at the Ravenclaws with a longing jealousy. She wondered what it would feel like to be a Ravenclaw. To have her room in a tower overlooking the grounds. To answer whatever fun riddle may be thrown at her in order to enter the Ravenclaw common room. Laura wasn't supposed to know any of this, but her best friend, LaFontaine, was a Ravenclaw and told her all about it, even though they were technically not supposed to. But Laura was trustworthy. Laura was loyal. Laura wouldn't tell anyone.

She almost felt like, in a way, there was a lot of pressure on her to live up to the Hufflepuffs. Though they're probably the least cared for House, they're the house that cares the most about others, always giving and never failing to place smiles on strangers' faces. 

It wasn't far off from the way Laura was, but she still couldn't help but wonder how different everything would be if she were placed in Ravenclaw.

She'd never actually said those words aloud to anyone in hopes she wouldn't seem too selfish or ungrateful. Because, really, she was entirely grateful to be attending Hogwarts at all.

The professor cleared her throat and introduced the headmistress's daughter as "Carmilla Karnstein who is now joining our Care of Magical Creatures Class." 

"Now, I'll need someone to meet up with Carmilla sometime after class and catch her up on everything she's missed. Any takers?" 

Laura looked around, noticing that absolutely no one was willing to work with the girl who had no friends, the girl who wore all black and liked to scare people, the girl who was probably misunderstood and most likely had a big heart but would never admit to actually caring... 

Laura stepped forward, giving the girl a smile. "I'll do it."

She could tell that people were staring at her, probably thinking "what a Hufflepuff thing to do." But in reality, Laura knew all too well what it felt like to be judged for something you're probably not. 

Carmilla took Laura in for a moment, and Laura could tell that Carmilla wasn't pleased with the outcome. But she wasn't going to let that upset her. She probably wasn't used to having anyone volunteer to actually be around her, which made Laura frown, her chest tightening slightly at the thought of someone feeling so alone in the world, having absolutely no one by their side... 

She offered Carmilla a smile despite Carmilla's rolling of her eyes, motioning for her to join her for the class. She heard a low groan escape Carmilla's mouth, the teacher pushing Carmilla in Laura's direction. As she joined Laura, she tried not to let her intense gaze intimidate her, knowing it was probably a defense mechanism she was so used to having to use.

"Hi! I'm Laura." She offered Carmilla her hand, but Carmilla didn't take it. She frowned, retracting her hand, and did her best to shake it off. 

"I'm Carmilla, but you can call me The almighty sex god." 

"Well, _Carmilla_ , what made you join this class so late?" They were both whispering now, the professor going on about last class's lesson and how it pertains to this lesson.

"My mother," Carmilla answered grumpily, never once meeting Laura's gaze.

Laura could tell that Carmilla didn't want to talk, but she persisted, trying not to falter under her gaze. "She made you take Care of Magical Creatures? Why?" 

Carmilla snapped back at Laura, gritting her teeth with a clenched jaw before speaking again. "Save yourself the trouble, cupcake. I don't have friends, and not even a cutie pie like yourself will change that." 

Laura opened her mouth to speak, suddenly aware of how clammy her hands were getting. She quickly closed her mouth, trying to subtly wipe her hands on her robe, which evidently didn't go unnoticed. 

"You know, I'm a pro at making people sweat." There was an underlying sexual tone to her words, which made Laura even more nervous for some reason. She chewed on the corner of her lip, trying to figure out what to say next. 

"You make me nervous." That's definitely _not_ what Laura had in mind. Her eyes widened slightly, her mouth drying in embarrassment. "I mean, not, like, nervous like scared nervous, but more, like, nervous before getting the results of a test that you know you did well on and I don't know why I'm even saying this and sometimes when I'm nervous I just keep babbling on until someone stops me and now I can't stop thinking of how stupid it was of me to sa−"

"You're giving me a headache." Carmilla rubbed at her temples and Laura looked away, feeling entirely embarrassed at the way she handled that. Her cheeks felt warm against the cool air and she let out a shaky breath, turning back to Carmilla.

"I'm sorry. I talk a lot. I just... I know what it's like to have people look at you and think you're one thing when you feel like you're another thing but can't tell anyone because you know they'll judge you for it." She's chewing on her lip now, hoping that'll be enough to get through to Carmilla. "And I'm not saying you're a liar, or that you want people to be scared of you or that you're this mean old grump because you choose to b−"

"You really need to learn how to control that mouth." She's rubbing at her temples again, which is making Laura even more nervous for this interaction. She has to admit, she's always looked at Carmilla with curiosity. She was undeniably pretty, yet she rejected any boy that came within three feet of her. (Not that many boys did, which Laura assumes is exactly what Carmilla wanted). But the ones that had enough courage to approach her always got shot down. She supposed Carmilla _was_ too pretty for all of them, but even Carmilla had to get lonely sometimes, right? "And I _do_ like that people fear me. Just because I've spoken to you once, doesn't mean you've gotten me all figured out, sweetheart."

"I didn't sa−" she closed her mouth, knowing it would be useless to continue to fight her on this. "I was just saying, I've spent too long pretending that I'm starting to think that maybe it's true. Even though I know deep down it isn't." And that was all she'd say on the matter, since Carmilla kept her eyes trained on the professor, pretending like she wasn't listening to a thing Laura was saying.

They didn't speak again for the rest of the class, and when it was over, Carmilla turned to leave, but Laura caught her by her wrist. "Hey! Wait. We're supposed to get together sometime to discuss everything you've missed. I have to go to Charms after this, but that's my last class of the day. Can we meet outside the Great Hall in two hours?"

She could tell Carmilla was debating whether or not this would be a good idea. She rolled her eyes not once, but twice, before sighing extra-dramatically and huffing out a "Fine. Whatever," which made Laura grin with excitement.

Maybe she could actually get through to her. Maybe she could be the one who befriends Carmilla Karnstein.


	2. Chapter Two - The Quidditch Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura finally starts getting through to Carmilla who catches Laura and Kirsch sneaking out after hours and they end up playing a game of Quidditch. So much gay.

"You're late," Laura huffs out as Carmilla finally makes her way over to Laura, after keeping her waiting at least half an hour more than she was supposed to. If it weren't for Laura's crazy schedule this year, she wouldn't be so crazy about punctuality. 

  
"Sorry, cupcake, but I had better things to do." Laura rolls her eyes at that, secretly thinking what on earth could she have to do, other than sleeping for hours and coming up with some ridiculous plan with Peeves to scare first years out of their minds. 

  
"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, since it's such a nice day, I was thinking we can do this out on the grass instead of in the Great Hall." She offers Carmilla a smile and gets a roll of the eyes in return.  
  
"Oh, joy. Sunshine and rainbows are my absolute favorite things." She pretended that Carmilla didn't say that and gently grabbed her wrist, leading her out of the castle and out on the courtyard, where a lot of students were studying and hanging out with their friends. Laura led Carmilla to a tree that was more secluded and on the edge of the courtyard, knowing how little Carmilla thrived around people.

  
She set her book bag down and sat back against the tree trunk, Carmilla occupying the spot directly in front of her, both of their legs crossed. 

  
"Let's get this over with. I have someplace to be." 

  
Laura pursed her lips, trying to find a way to ask her this without hurting her feelings. But she couldn't find a way to ask Carmilla where on earth she had to be when she clearly didn't have any friends, so she kept her mouth shut, because that's just what a Hufflepuff would do, right? But not a Ravenclaw. A Ravenclaw would ask. A Ravenclaw needed to know everything. 

  
"Okay. So, she hasn't covered much, but I've made copies of all of the notes I have, which probably isn't that much, since she's pretty intent on taking a more hands-on approach to this class. Which is fine by me, because who doesn't love magical creatures?" Laura peeked up at Carmilla, who looked like she was trying hard not to smile. "Anyway, we learned about Centaurs and how they came to be. She even took us into the Forbidden Forest and let us talk to one. They're actually pretty cool, but some of them are bitter and don't particularly like humans."   
  
She handed Carmilla her copied notes, offering her another smile.   
  
"Thanks. I guess. Anything else I need to know about? I'd prefer not to spend my time sitting on a perfectly mowed lawn discussing favorite books and ideal first dates, so just make this quick."   
  
"Why do you do that?" Laura couldn't help herself. She was trying so hard and Carmilla just couldn't wait to leave.   
  
"Do what? Look sexy all the time? It's a gift."   
  
"Why do you try so hard to push people away? What are you afraid of? That you might actually grow to like someone?" Laura could tell she hit a nerve, because Carmilla stood up to leave.   
  
"No, wait, stop." She grabbed Carmilla by the hand once more, Carmilla's skin as pale as the moon in comparison to Laura's.   
  
"You don't know a single thing about me. So stop acting like you have me all figured out, sweetheart. You don't. You're pretentious and presumptuous. Just because I don't want to be around you, doesn't mean I push everyone away."   
  
Laura has never wanted to act less like a Hufflepuff than in this moment.   
  
"And you think you have me figured out? Just because I'm the only one who actually tries to talk to you? Just because I don't want to spend my time being mean to someone when they've done nothing to deserve it?"   
  
Carmilla thinks this over for a minute, letting out a sigh in response.   
  
"You're incredibly persistent, you know that?"   
  
"I do."   
  
"Okay. What else have I missed?"   
  
Laura smiles, and for the first time since Laura has met Carmilla, Carmilla smiles, too.  
  
\---------  
  
Carmilla walked back to the Slytherin Common Room, having just spent an hour in the daylight with someone who actually wanted to be around her. Just the thought of that made Carmilla sick, but not because she might actually make a friend at this school. That part, on some level, excited her.   
  
It was the other part that terrified her. The last time Carmilla had gotten close to someone, it didn't end well. Mainly because she fell in love with her and her mother, the big homophobe that she is, wouldn't allow it. She had gone so far to get the girl expelled—that's right, actually _expelled_ —from the school, and that was the last time she had heard from her.  
  
It took her forever to get over it, and sometimes Carmilla thinks she still isn't over it.  
  
Laura reminds her a lot of Ell, which terrifies Carmilla even more. Not that she has any expectations for what this "friendship" could be, because, really, just being around her gives her this tiny shred of hope that maybe not everyone who meets her will leave her. Or hate her. Or fear her.  
  
No one actually knew about Carmilla and Ell. Her mother did everything in her power to make sure that didn't happen. After all, her reputation was the most important thing to her. And that reputation would be ruined if everyone knew her daughter was gay, no matter how liberal this school has become over these past few years.  
  
As she climbed the stairs to her dorm, she passed by two girls she recognized as six years who were giggling together over some inside joke, and it actually didn't make Carmilla want to barf.   
  
It made her want to get out of here and actually socialize, but she figured she'd done enough of that for one day. Right now, the thing she needed more than anything was a nap to make up for all the sleep that was lost last night because of the early tryouts. Besides, her first practice of the season was tonight, and she wanted to be awake and refreshed for it. She slipped under the covers of her bed, a smile on her face, and the last thing she remembers thinking before she drifted off was that there'd be a lot more smiles happening from now on.  
  
\---------  
  
She hit the snooze button, her alarm clock waking her up just in time to get ready and head down to the Quidditch Pitch. It was night time, the sky black and starry, and Carmilla couldn't help but think how perfect it would be if every practice was done at night, though she knew that wouldn't be the case. It would only happen occasionally, when they needed the extra, unauthorized practice.   
  
She met the rest of her teammates—she couldn't believe she actually had teammates—by the shed that contained the broomsticks. Carmilla grabbed her temporary broomstick, thinking to herself that she absolutely needed to buy her own as soon as possible.   
  
"I trust that none of you told anyone we were practicing tonight?" Matthew, the Quidditch captain, was whispering to the group, even though there wasn't anyone around the pitch.   
  
Everyone shook their heads, mumbling "no" in response. "Good," he responded. "We have to be very quiet. Now remember, we're only doing this because Oliver quit and we need to catch Carmilla up on all our strategies. And we have a game in five days and I am _not_ losing to Hufflepuff again. I'll be damned if those life-loving hippies beat us again."   
  
Everyone nodded in agreement, and Carmilla thought of Laura at the mention of "Hufflepuff."  
  
The next ten minutes were spent explaining the game plan, and Carmilla tried to keep up as much as possible. Elsie, the Keeper of the team, was the most patient with Carmilla, always explaining in full detail when Carmilla didn't understand something. The rest of the team were still weary, but they weren't going to speak up about it. They needed Carmilla, and it felt good to be needed for once. Even if the people who needed you were essentially using you.  
  
 _No, Carmilla. You're on a team. No one is using you._  
  
"Okay, I understand. Can we please just get up in the air now?"   
  
And they did.  
  
\---------  
  
"What was your answer to number seven, Kirsch? I just want to double-check we have the same answer."   
  
"Stop stressing, dude. You're, like, the smartest person I know. Besides Laf. But no one is smarter than Laf. I mean, come on." Kirsch smiled at Laura, who couldn't help but return his smile.   
  
"I know, I know. I just keep worrying that I'm going to screw this up. I'm taking so many classes and I have so much work to do all the time and I feel like I never have fun anymore." She frowns, putting her work down for the first time in four hours. "Am I boring, Kirsch? Be honest."   
  
"I mean, like, it would be cool to hang out with a chick who actually wanted to, like, break rules and be crazy and maybe make out a little, but as far as super nerdy girls who are actually adorable and lovable go, you're not so bad."   
  
This made Laura smile and she nudged him gently. "Thanks, I think."   
  
"Any time, bro."   
  
He gets back to doing his work, and Laura glances at hers, suddenly feeling very rebellious.   
  
"Let's sneak out of here."   
  
This actually gets his attention, because he puts his book down, staring up at her with wild eyes. "What? I just need to double-check that I'm not hallucinating."   
  
"Let's... Let's do something crazy. Let's sneak out and explore and... I don't know, Kirsch. I'm just really tired of doing the same things every day."   
  
"I don't know what you smoked today, but I'm all for it. What did you have in mind?"   
  
She frowned, raising an eyebrow at him. "Do we really have to plan this? Let's just... Get out of here and see where we end up. You in or not?"   
  
"Anything that gets me out of the Hufflepuff common room. Let's stop by the kitchens first, though. I'm starving."   
  
"When are you not?" She shoved her books back in her bag, hiding it in between the chair she was sitting on and the wall. She stands and her eyes immediately fall to Kirsch's chest. It's not always fun having friends who are at least a foot taller than you. She lifts her head up, gazing (way, way) up at Kirsch with a grin splattered onto her face.   
  
"Ready?" Butterflies were forming at the pit of Laura's stomach. She always found excitement in doing something you weren't supposed to do. She always did her best to hide that side of her, but sometimes she needed to let loose and have some fun.  
  
"Man, I've been waiting for this day since our first year." He grinned at her, moving to place his book bag by hers. "Come on, hottie. Let's go."  
  
\---------

For the first time since Carmilla first got to this stupid school when she was 12 (she joined late, but who cares when your mother is the Headmistress?), she actually had a lot of fun doing something that involved several other people and an organized sport. But she wasn't going to let her mother know she loved it. No, she would continue to make her mother believe she hated it and was mad at her. Because if she showed even the slightest interest in it, her mother would probably take it away from her.

 

She took everything away from Carmilla.

After the one-hour practice was over, she lifted herself onto the stands with her broomstick, sitting in the designated Slytherin section overlooking the entire pitch. It was dark, with only the moon acting as a light to the field. But their eyes had adjusted, and she could see almost everything in the field almost perfectly. She took in a deep breath, allowing herself to take in everything that has happened in the past couple of days.

She'd spent so long convincing herself she hated people, that she convinced her mother, too. And now her mother is punishing her by forcing her to interact with people, which isn't really so bad after all.

Or maybe it is a punishment. Maybe her mother is secretly hoping Carmilla will grow close to someone again _just_ so she can take that away from her, too.

She was about to leave when she noticed two silhouettes on the ground, walking to the broomstick shed. She narrowed her eyes, but it was too dark to make out who they were. It wasn't until she'd heart the high-pitched voice of the little one that she'd realized it was Laura.

\---------

"Dude, this is _awesome!_ " Kirsch's voice was too loud for an after-hours sneak out, and she leaned up, placing her hand over his mouth.

" _Shhh, Kirsch!_ You're going to get us caught!" Laura chewed on the inside of her cheek, giving Kirsch a panicked look. He mumbles a "sorry" and she sighs heavily, turning back to the shed full of broomsticks that are used for lessons for First Years. She takes a deep breath and opens it, wrapping her slim fingers around the top of a Firebolt 2, an older version of one of the fastest Broomstick models in the world.

"What the _hell_ are you two girls doing here?" The voice made Laura jump and drop the broomstick, which clattered with several other broomsticks, and Laura actually screamed before she turned around to see it was just Carmilla.

"Jesus Christ, Carm. You scared me." She placed a hand over her heart, feeling how quickly it was beating, her breath ragged in the cool night air.

" _Carm_?" Laura turns around to find a smug Kirsch who looks both shocked and like he's about to topple over from laughing so hard.

"Carmilla... This is Kirsch. He doesn't know when to shut up."

"Hey, hottie." He grins at Carmilla, and Laura bites her lip, fearing Carmilla's reaction to him.

"What the hell are you two morons doing here? Isn't it past your bed time?" She's ignoring Kirsch's existence, only looking at Laura, who's suddenly very aware of the consequences of being caught by an authority figure.

"I could ask you the same question." Was all Laura said in response.

"I am a designated rule breaker. It is in my nature to be here, cutie." Carmilla eyed the broomstick in Laura's hand, laughing almost immediately. "What, were you actually planning on.. Using that?" She was laughing harder now, Laura's face reddening to the color of a tomato.

"Why is that so funny?" Laura narrowed her eyes at Carmilla, trying really hard not to break eye contact. After only a few seconds, she looked away. It wasn't fair that Carmilla could make her feel so intimidated and kind of rather small just by looking at her. But not small in a useless kind of way. Small in a childlike kind of way.

"Sorry, I just can't get the image of you riding a broomstick out of my head." Carmilla smirked at Laura, which made her blush even more. "What exactly were you planning on doing with that, anyway? Flying around the Grounds? You know you'd get caught if you even left the perimeter of this pitch."

"I was..." Laura internally sighed, knowing Carmilla was going to poke fun at anything she said at this point. "I was going to play." Carmilla laughed even harder, which made Laura furious.

"Tell you what, princess. You against me. Loser has to buy the winner a Butterbeer." She grinned and grabbed a broomstick herself, opening the box of Quidditch balls to retrieve the Quaffle. "Whoever scores more in five minutes wins. Puppy dog over here will time us. You in?"

"Two hotties flying around trying to beat each other? I'm definitely in."

"I wasn't talking to you, Captain Skinny-Dick."

" _Carmilla_!" Laura steps in between the two of them, gripping her broomstick tighter. But Kirsch only smirks, holding his ground.

"Whatever you say, Carm-sexy. Better get up there, though. That broomstick isn't going to ride itself."

Carmilla growled−actually _growled_ −in response. "Don't call my sexy. Or hottie. Or anything that even remotely sexualizes me. Got it?" He nodded his head and she looked back at Laura. "Fine. Let's do this." She mounted her broomstick and Laura mirrored her actions, both of them kicking off and flying into the center of the pitch. Carmilla was much better at controlling a broomstick than Laura thought she would be, but then again, she probably was better at it than Carmilla thought Laura would be as well.

 "Not bad, Hollis. You gonna pull a rabbit out of a hat next?"

"Ha ha. Very funny." Carmilla smirks at Laura, the Quaffle still in her hands. Carmilla was full of surprises today. Laura couldn't help but feel proud for getting her to talk at all, let alone _play quidditch with her_.

"Whenever you're ready, Skinny Dick." Carmilla shouts at Kirsch, who starts the timer on his phone.

"And... Start!"

\---------

To make this fair for the both of them, Carmilla threw the Quaffle into the air, letting Laura catch it on purpose to give her an advantage, because she knew she would absolutely smoke her in this game. She chased Laura around, standing in front of her post to defend the three hoops that Laura was going to throw the Quaffle into. Although she wasn't a Keeper, or even a Chaser, she was still determined to beat Laura. And it was in her advantage that Laura didn't know she was on the Quidditch team.

She could tell Laura was strategizing harder than any normal person would be, which made her nose scrunch, her eyes trained on the hoops behind Carmilla. Just when Laura thought she had the best position to get the Quaffle into one of the hoops, she threw it, Carmilla flying directly to its line of travel to block it from entering the hoop.

Laura muttered "damn it!" just loud enough for Carmilla to hear, making Carmilla laugh at the face she was making.

"Nice try. That bunched up little face you make when you're angry is _hilarious_ , buttercup."

She smirked at Laura, who was not bothering to hide the disdain in her face at all. She tightened her grip on the Quaffle, moving slightly forward on her broomstick to gain speed as she flew past Laura, heading straight to the other hoops that Laura had failed to protect. She could hear Laura trying to catch up behind her, but Carmilla was just too fast. She threw the Quaffle into the top hoop, hearing Laura groan behind her.

"Looks like you're going to end up buying me a butterbeer, cupcake." She grinned as Laura chased after the ball. Deciding to give Laura somewhat of an advantage, she chased after her, leaving her hoops undefended for now.

She could hear the puppy dog yelling "two minutes!" from below and she gained speed, catching up to Laura.

"You know, if you want to give up, I won't tell anyone." She was flying right next to Laura now, who was so keen on concentrating, her tongue was slightly sticking out of her mouth. Carmilla couldn't help but think about how adorable she looked, and for one brief second, she almost wanted to let her win. Almost.

"One minute!"

"Quitters never win."

"Losers never win, either." She smirked, knowing she was getting on Laura's nerves.

"Who said anything about losing?" Carmilla was too busy being smug and focusing on flying behind Laura that Laura actually flew underneath her, flying across to the hoops that Carmilla left unattended and throwing her Quaffle into one of them. "Yes! Boom! Serves you right for being so cocky." She grinned at herself, and Carmilla had to admit she was impressed.

"Not bad, Hollis. But you're still not going to win this."

"Thirty seconds!"

Carmilla looked down and zoomed after the Quaffle, Laura right at her tail. She caught the Quaffle in time to hear Kirsch say "twenty seconds" and flew as fast as she possibly could to the other side of the pitch, her heart racing as her speed accelerated.

"10... 9... 8..."

She could hear Laura behind her, but the only thing she was focused on was getting to the hoops.

"7... 6... 5..."

Her grip tightened on the Quaffle and she leaned just a little bit more forward.

"4... 3... 2..."

Without thinking, she threw the Quaffle into one of the hoops.

"1."

As she made the goal, she was grinning, Laura mumbling "no, no, no" behind her. She cheered, laughing as she turned around to face Laura.

"Break out the piggy bank, cutie. You're buying me a butterbeer."

\---------

Laura walked back to the Hufflepuff common room with Kirsch, her heart still racing from being out after they were supposed to. They almost got caught on the way back, but ducked behind a corner at the end of the corridor that led to the kitchens just as the Fat Friar, the hufflepuff ghost, was passing by.

"That was close," Kirsch whispered once they were back in the safety of the common room. Laura was about to answer when a voice coming from the chair that had their backs to them made them both jump, the hairs on the back of Laura's neck standing up immediately.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?"

She stood up, and Laura bit her lip, trying to figure out how to get out of this.

"Perry, look, we were just wa−"

"This is unlike you, Laura. You don't just break the rules for no reason. Do you know how much trouble I could get in for knowing you were breaking rules and _not_ saying anything about it? I'm the Head Girl, and if the Headmistress found out−"

"Perry, breathe. This won't happen again. We promise. We just felt cooped up and we went out for a walk. I'm sorry. We'll go up to the dorms and we won't tell anyone where we were."

She could tell Perry felt only slightly relieved, but more worried about Laura than about herself. "Honestly, Perry, it's fine. I was just exhausted and overwhelmed from all the work I had to do and needed a break. I'm fine." She offered Perry a smile and Perry reluctantly returned it.

"Okay. You're lucky it was me who noticed your bags behind the chair and not the Head Boy or any of the prefects." Laura nodded, because, really, she was lucky it was Perry, her friend since before they were even at Hogwarts (although she technically knew Perry through LaFontaine, who lived next door to Laura back in her hometown). How could she be so stupid and careless as to actually leave her bag lying around for anyone to see it? She should've known they do periodic checks.

"I know. I really am sorry, Perry."

"Me, too, dude. I'm gonna get to bed, but thanks for not telling." Kirsch left them alone and ran up to his dorms. Laura frowned, looking back at Perry.

"Look, I know you probably want to yell at me more, but I'm really tired and I absolutely need to sleep or I'll be dead for the only class I have tomorrow. Can we take a rain check on this?"

"I'm not going to yell at you because I know this won't happen again. Right?"

"Right. Okay, goodnight, Perr." She gave her a quick hug and was halfway up the first set of stairs when she heard Perry talk, turning around to answer her question.

"Were you just with Kirsch, or was someone else with you?"

Laura bit her lip. She'd always been a bad liar, and Hufflepuffs weren't really supposed to lie.

"I was just with Kirsch." Well, she never really felt like she belonged in Hufflepuff, anyway.


	3. Chapter Three - The Three Broomsticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura finally buys Carmilla that butterbeer she owes her and opens up to her. Also, Carmilla's, like, super gay for Laura. Super, super gay.

Carmilla wakes the next morning to the loud buzzing of her alarm clock. She groans and turns it off, groggily throwing the covers off of her and getting up for the day. She doesn't think she would ever get used to being awoken three hours earlier than she was used to.  
  
She sighed and threw her clothes on for her first _official_ Quidditch practice−last night's was unauthorized. She ran up to the Great Hall for breakfast, secretly hoping she would run into Laura. But to her dismay, Laura wasn't there this morning. She must have already eaten breakfast. Frowning, Carmilla walked to the Slytherin table and surprised everyone when she didn't sit alone. She sat next to Elsie, the Keeper for the Slytherin Quidditch team, and offered her the slightest smile she could manage.   
  
They both ate their food rather hurriedly, walking to the Quidditch pitch side-by-side. Elsie was a sixth year, so Carmilla hadn't ever talked to her before, apart from last night's practice. The walk was quiet, but it was a nice quiet. It wasn't the awkward quiet when neither of you know what to say. It was the quiet when neither of you really needed to say anything.   
  
They were last to make it to practice, everyone eyeing them once they got there. Carmilla rolled her eyes and grabbed her broomstick and bat, following everyone up into the air.   
  
"Carmilla!" She turned to see the Quidditch Captain, Matthew, who also happened to be the Seeker, smiling at her. "Listen, I know this is your first real practice, but don't worry. If you play anything like you did last night, you'll be amazing."   
  
She smiled back at him, nodding her head firmly. She tightened her grip on the bat and flew to the other side of the field, catching Elsie's eyes for a brief second.   
  
\------------  
  
Laura was the first to walk out of her Alchemy class, eager to have the rest of the day off. She had no homework due on Monday, having finished everything at around three in the morning last night, which gave her only four hours of sleep. But it was worth it if it meant she had Friday night off for once.   
  
As she walked to the Great Hall for lunch, she ran into LaFontaine, greeting them with a quick hug.   
  
"Where are you going in such a hurry?"   
  
"To get food! Are you hungry, or did you just eat?" She shoved her books in her bag.   
  
"I was actually just walking there to meet Perry. I'll just sit with you guys." Laura nodded and they walked to the great hall, sitting at the Hufflepuff table once they got there. It wasn't technically against the rules that Laf sat with them, but it was highly frowned upon, followed by sever glares from the Ravenclaw table.   
  
Laura rolled her eyes. It was ridiculous that this school was so divided.  
  
"I don't understand why I can't sit with my girlfriend for lunch without everyone looking at me like I'm sleeping with the enemy."  
  
"Laf, you _are_ sleeping with the enemy." Laura grinned, nudging LaFontaine's side gently.   
  
"We're... Not yet." Perry shot back at them, giving Laura a stern look.  
  
"Jeez, relax, Perr. It was a joke."   
  
"What's crawled up your butt?" LaFontaine says it jokingly, but Perry doesn't laugh. Or smile.   
  
"Why don't you ask Laura what she did last night?"   
  
" _Perry!_ " Laura's cheeks flushed and she turned to see LaFontaine raising their eyebrow at her. "Honestly, it was _nothing_. I just snuck out with Kirsch because I was bored and tired and sick of working nonstop."   
  
LaFontaine opened their mouth to respond, but they were cut off by an excited Kirsch who plopped down next to Perry, grinning at them all cluelessly. "Hey guys! I'm starving." He picked up a fork, immediately digging into his food. It was like watching a puppy eat−adorable but also not the most visually pleasing thing in the world. Laura laughed and focused on eating her own food.   
  
"Where's Danny?" LaFontaine asked as they started eating their food.  
  
"She has practice. She won't be joining us today." Laura spoke in between bites, picking up a goblet to down her food with some water. "Are we doing anything tonight?"   
  
"I was thinking we could head to Hogsmeade. I need to go back to Honeydukes. My candy supply has shortened greatly." LaFontaine grinned, but Perry shot them a look in return.  
  
"LaFontaine, you were just there a week ago."   
  
"You can _never_ have too much chocolate frogs." Laura smiled down at her food as she ate, shaking her head slightly. She had the best friends in the world.   
  
\------------  
  
Practice was cut ten minutes short when the Gryffindor team marched onto the field demanding they get their practice. The entire team flew down to the ground and Matthew actually started yelling at the Gryffindor captain, but the team convinced him we had enough practice for the day and they'll be fine.  
  
Carmilla made it a point to glare at every single member of the Gryffindor team, wanting each of them to know she was now A) on the Slytherin team and B) someone to look out for. Most of them faltered under her gaze, except for this really tall redhead that looked unaffected.  
  
For now.  
  
Carmilla smirked at her as the team walked away, making a mental note to look out for her when Slytherin plays Gryffindor. Carmilla hoped she was a chaser, because those are the ones that beaters usually try to hit with the Bludger.

 

She winked at the redhead and turned away, following the rest of her team off the pitch.  
  
\------------  
  
"Hey, isn't that Carmilla?" Kirsch was looking at the entrance doors to the great hall. Laura looked up to where he was looking immediately, finding Carmilla just standing there looking at Laura. Laura waved at her, motioning for her to join them.  
  
Carmilla hesitated, looking from Laura to Laura's friends to the Slytherin table.   
  
Laura stood up and walked over to her, stopping right in front of her. "Don't worry, my friends are really nice. Come join us?"   
  
"I don't know, cupcake. I don't think anyone will take me seriously if I sit with the Hufflepuffs. Especially since we're playing them next week."   
  
"Playing them? We? Are you... Carmilla, are you on the Quidditch team?"   
  
Carmilla's eyes widened slightly. Was she really on the Quidditch team? Why didn't she tell Laura?   
  
"Uh, yeah. I guess I am. Look, I'm sorry, but I can't sit with you guys right now." She turned to walk away but Laura caught her by the wrist, pulling her back in front of her.  
  
"Hey, wait! Sorry, I was just going to remind you that I still owe you a Butterbeer." She smiled, quickly glancing behind her at the rest of her friends. Perry and LaFontaine actually had their mouths open in surprise. "We're going to Hogsmeade tonight. Do you want to join us?"   
  
"We?" Carmilla looked behind Laura at her friends, biting her lip.  
  
"Yeah, they're really friendly, I promise."   
  
"Uh... Yeah, sure, whatever. When are you going?"   
  
"After we finish eating. Just meet us right outside when you're done." Carmilla nodded and walked to the Slytherin table. Laura grinned, feeling proud of herself, and went to sit back down with her friends.  
  
"What the _hell_ was that about, Hollis?" LaFontaine spoke for both them and Perry, who was looking at Laura concernedly.   
  
"She's in my Care of Magical Creatures class. She just transferred in and the professor asked me to catch her up on some stuff. She's coming with us to Hogsmeade."   
  
"You can't be serious. Laura, you know the reputation she has. She's awful."   
  
"Since when have I ever judged someone based on what other people think of them? I know she seems like the worst person in the world but you don't know her. I would expect better than that from you of all people, LaFontaine."   
  
"Laura's right, guys. I mean, I'll admit, I was scared of her at first, too, but after seeing her up on that field with Laur—"  
  
" _Kirsch_!"  
  
"What field? What's he talking about, Laura?" Perry looked highly concerned, and this is exactly what Laura was trying to avoid when she told Perry it was just her and Kirsch last night.   
  
"Nothing, Perry. We just... We played a little bit of Quidditch together, that's all." Laura's face turned red at the look on Perry's face. She was outraged at the amount of rules Laura had broken last night. "Please don't freak out. It was just harmless fun."   
  
" _Harmless fun_! Laura, do you know how dangerous it is to be out of the Castle after hours? This is _Hogwarts_ , not some silly boarding school! There are all kinds of magical creatures we don't know about lurking the castle grounds! You can't just—"  
  
"Perry, breathe. We were fine. I already told you it won't happen again." Perry wasn't buying it, so she continued on. "I'm serious. Look, I appreciate you looking out for me, I do, but I'm a big girl. I can handle myself. And as much as I love you guys, I don't appreciate being parented 24/7. I know you're Head Girl and you're just concerned about the rules and my safety, but sometimes you act like my mother and I've done just fine these past twelve years without one."  
  
She didn't mean to sound so dramatic, but she couldn't help it. She'd let them parent her without saying a word because she knew they meant well and were just trying to be good friends, but there's only so much of that she could take.   
  
She didn't even think about where she was going when she stood up and walked away from the table, but she'd found herself standing in front of Carmilla at the Slytherin table. "What's the matter, cupcake? What, did you just find out Santa isn't real?"  
  
"We're going to Hogsmeade without my friends and we have to leave now or else they'll follow me here and try to make everything better when they know that there's no possible way they can fix anything about me whatsoever even though they try every single goddamn—"  
  
"Hey, whoa, breathe." Carmilla stood up and walked over to Laura, glancing quickly at the Hufflepuff table and then back to Laura. "You're crying." Laura hadn't even noticed the tears building in her eyes. Carmilla reached over, catching a tear with her finger before it fell too far down Laura's face and wiped it off. She looked up at Carmilla, more tears forming in her eyes. Carmilla gently took hold of her hand, guiding her out of the great hall and onto the courtyard outside of the castle.   
  
Laura took a deep breath as soon as they were outside, feeling like the ground was spinning and everything was about to collapse. She held onto Carmilla so she wouldn't fall, and Carmilla stood there patiently, letting her use her for support. She was suddenly very grateful for this girl who never treated her like a child and always told it like it was.   
  
"I'm not going to make you talk about it if you don't want to, because, hell, I wouldn't even want to talk to me about my problems. But if you need a shoulder to cry on, I've got two of those."   
  
She offered Laura a smile and Laura nodded her head, sitting down underneath a tree, her back facing the entrance to the castle.   
  
Carmilla slid down next to her, crossing her legs as they both sat there quietly for a few moments, listening to each other breathe, the wind gently rustling the leaves above them.   
  
It was Carmilla who broke the silence, surprising Laura with her willingness to talk.   
  
"When I was younger, my mom would take my brother and I to this playground by my house. He would always immediately go to the slides because he loved the feeling of sliding back down to the ground." Her voice was soothing to Laura who was very grateful she didn't have to talk. "I always went to the swings because I never wanted to be on the ground." She kept her gaze fixated at a spot in the distance, listening to Carmilla's carefully constructed words. "I wanted to be as high as possible. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to feel invincible."   
  
Although Laura didn't know what Carmilla's point was, she was just thankful for the distraction, nodding her head along to indicate she was still listening.   
  
"There's only one other thing in this world that has made me feel like that since I was a child." Carmilla turned to look at Laura, smiling when she said the word. "Quidditch." Laura turned her head to face Carmilla, looking her in the eyes as she spoke. "My point is, sometimes the things that make us the happiest are also the things we don't want to share with anyone else. Especially when we don't think they'll understand. You're the first person who not only knows how much I love it, but has _seen_ how much I love it."  
  
Who _was_ this girl? LaFontaine couldn't have been more wrong about her. Because not only did she tell Laura something secretive and vulnerable about her, but she did it just to make Laura feel better. Laura couldn't help but smile. She moved to wipe her tears and stood up, holding her hand out to Carmilla.  
  
She took it, standing up with her. "What are we doing?"   
  
"Come on. I still owe you that Butterbeer."   
  
\------------  
  
The walk to Hogsmeade was quiet, the tapping of their shoes against the cobblestone floor the only thing that can be heard between the two of them. The sun was setting behind the nearby mountains, illuminating the sky a golden-red color. It was breathtaking.   
  
Carmilla's breath was rougher than usual, but it had nothing to do with the walk.   


She had opened up to Laura, albeit she didn't share anything _too_ personal, but it was still way more personal than she was used to.  
  
But it was worth it to see a smile on her face. It was worth it to make her feel better.  
  
She tried not to think too much about what that meant and focused on trying to breathe normally as they neared the village, their footsteps no longer the only ones heard as other people passed by them, drowning the sounds of their own breathing with their lighthearted laughter and carefree words.  
  
Carmilla envied these people. They had nothing to fear, no one to lose, absolutely everything just a grasp away with nothing threatening to be taken away from them...   
  
They finally made it to Hogsmeade and went straight into The Three Broomsticks. Carmilla followed Laura to a table in the far back corner, at least five tables away from the nearest person. There were only a few people here, anyway, some of them already drunk, others just having a quick drink before having to get back to their responsibilities. She recognized several professors from Hogwarts here, but didn't acknowledge their existence.  
  
Carmilla took the seat in front of Laura, facing the back wall of the little pub. She didn't mind, though, if it meant having absolutely no human interaction apart from Laura.  
  
"So, listen, about earlier... I'm sorry I freaked out like that and I'm sorry you had to see that. But I just want to thank you for never treating me like I can't handle anything you throw at me. So thank you."  
  
"I don't know your friends, and from what I've seen I don't think I even particularly like them, but I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to purposely hurt you. I'm sure whatever it is they did or said, they didn't mean it." She really needed to stop now. She was getting too invested too fast. This was never a good thing when it came to Carmilla.  
  
Laura didn't say anything. She just nodded her head, looking blankly into the distance. "Okay, cupcake. This is depressing. I'm going to go get us some drinks." She stood up and walked to the bar, ordering them each a Butterbeer. There was a drunk man sitting on one of the stools who wouldn't stop staring at Carmilla, baring her a hideous smile, his teeth yellow and rotted.   
  
 _This is why you're gay_ , she thought to herself. No, that's not true. Men in general are why Carmilla is gay. No, okay, that's not true, either. She looked around the room until her eyes fell on Laura, who was just sitting there biting on her lower lip.   
  
 _That_ is why she was gay.   
  
She swallowed hard and grabbed the two butterbeers from the table once they were placed in front of her. She carefully walked back to the table, placing one in front of her and handing the other one to Laura.   
  
"Thanks," she muttered to Carmilla, giving her a brief smile before she took a sip of her Butterbeer. When she set it down, she had a white mustache and Carmilla couldn't stop the laugh that rolled out of her mouth at the sight of Laura. "What?!" She looked vastly concerned, which made Carmilla laugh even harder.   
  
"So either you know how to grow white mustaches _really_ fast or this Butterbeer needs to come with a mustache warning." She grins, grabbing a napkin and leaning over the table, handing it to Laura.   
  
"Oh, _god_!" Laura's cheeked flushed and Carmilla found it absolutely endearing. She bit her lip as Laura wiped her upper lip free of any Butterbeer mustaches. "This is so embarrassing."   
  
"Don't worry about it, cutie. It happens to the best of us." Carmilla picked up her Butterbeer and took a rather long sip, lingering her upper lip around the foamy part of the drink. When she set it down, she looked to Laura who looked like she was about to cry. "Hey, wait, no, don't be sad! Honestly, it's fine, it's _just Butterbeer_!"   
  
"No, no, it's not that. It's just, well, now _you've_ got a white mustache and I know you did it on purpose and I've just... I've never had someone embarrass themselves just to make me feel less embarrassed or humiliated and that's just _really nice_." The words gave Carmilla a warmth that settled in her chest, refusing to leave.  
  
She stopped speaking and gazed up at Carmilla, her eyes locked with hers. Carmilla was glad that weren't sitting closer, because Laura would definitely be able to hear the very loud and very quick thumping of Carmilla's heart against her chest. She was going to speak but then Laura continued.   
  
"And, you know, people always are so quick to judge because of the way you dress or the way you look and it's _so_ unfair because if they just got to know you like I do, they would see the girl who just gave herself a Butterbeer mustache to make me feel better about my Butterbeer mustache. Which, by the way, you still have." She giggled a little, which Carmilla decided was her favorite sound in the world.  
  
She picked up a napkin and wiped at her upper lip, staring back at Laura so intently, she was sure she would give herself away. For the first time in a really long time, Carmilla was just absolutely speechless. She didn't like to care about other people, mostly because it always ended in both sides getting severely hurt and possibly one of them being _sent off to another school_ , but when she did care, she cared with everything in her.   
  
"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." She smiled at Laura who was already grinning back at her. She decided that was her favorite sight in the world.  
  
This really wasn't good. She was getting too attached too fast and she already knew this would somehow end badly.  
  
\------------  
  
Laura and Carmilla walked back to the castle together. The sky was significantly darker now, the stars just starting to poke out of the sky, leaving little twinkles in their wake.   
  
Laura was still smiling from the encounter she'd just had with Carmilla. Her goal from the start was to be the one who befriends Carmilla, and not only has she achieved that goal, but she'd exceeded her own expectations. She had no idea how kind-hearted and warm Carmilla really was. It made her feel a warmth in her chest, something she couldn't exactly explain.   
  
Even when she got up to pay for their butterbeers, Carmilla stood up and insisted she pay. But then Laura went into this huge rant about how she lost fair and square and she wanted to pay and that Carmilla should just let her pay. Carmilla just smirked in return and said "fine, but I'm paying for the next one." And it made Laura smile because _there's going to be a next one_.   
  
She still had this nagging thought at the back of her mind, but she ignored it as best as she could because they were just friends and maybe even one day they could be best friends but right now, that was the extent of their relationship.

When they got back to the castle, they lingered by the front doors for a moment, Laura playing with the collar of her robe. "So, I'm going to try to go find LaFontaine and Perry and apologize for just walking away."

Carmilla nodded, and Laura could swear the look she was giving her seemed sad, but she didn't comment on it. "Okay. I'll see you later, cutie." Carmilla walked off and Laura hesitated for a moment before she walked to the Great Hall, hoping that Laf and Perry were still there. She sighed in relief when she found them still sitting there doing their homework and walked straight to them, but they weren't alone. Danny was now with them and Kirsch seemed to be missing. She smiled at them but Danny didn't look too happy.

Laura chewed on her lip and stopped just in front of them, giving LaFontaine an apologetic look. "I'm sorry I walked away."

"So, are you going to tell me what the _hell_ you were doing with _Carmilla Karnstein_? Laura, I know I've been really busy lately and haven't made time to see you like I used to, but _Carmilla? Really?_ " The words made Laura's stomach churn and she went back to playing with the collar of her robe nervously.

Laura's eyes averted to Perry and LaFontaine, who both looked incredibly guilty and regretful. They clearly told Danny, and Laura didn't even know why she was mnad about it. She wasn't technically doing anything wrong. She was just befriending a girl who was highly misunderstood.

"She's my friend. And she's nothing like how you guys think she is, and I really think you should give her a chance because she's really nice and she cares way more than she lets anyone believe she does."

Perry and LaFontaine exchanged a look and LaFontaine stood up and walked to Laura, stopping right in front of her. "I'm sorry about earlier. I really am."

Laura nodded her head. "I know you are. I know you guys didn't mean it. It's okay." She smiled at LaFontaine who returned her smile and leaned in to give them a hug, whispering in their ear just loud enough for them to hear. "Carmilla told me to forgive you." She pulled back to find LaFontaine looking even guiltier than before. She shrugged and turned to Perry who had her arms open for her. Smiling at Perry, Laura leaned into her hug and wrapped her arms around her. "Love you, Perr."

When she pulled back, the two of them left, leaving her alone with Danny. "I'm sorry, Laura. I've been a bad girlfriend lately."

The word _girlfriend_ made Laura cringe slightly, feeling like she's just been slapped. She nodded her head and sat down, Danny taking a seat next to her. "I'll make more time for us, I promise."

And in that moment, all Laura could think of was Carmilla.


	4. Chapter Four - The Downfall Of Us All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla has her first Quidditch game and Laura is falling hard for this girl. Carmilla's already fallen. But where does that leave Danny?

The alarm clock beeped loudly, making Carmilla wake with a start. She let out a groggy groan, stretching out across the bed. It took her a solid minute to remember that today was her first ever Quidditch game, and she was smiling into her pillow within seconds.   
  
They had been practicing almost nonstop for the past few days, so she's barely had any time to see anyone other than her teammates.  
  
She has seen Laura a few times though, who asked her last night to meet her for breakfast this morning. It wasn't the most ideal thing, considering Laura's house was going against Carmilla's today, but hey, if Laura wanted to sit with the Slytherins despite that, she wasn't going to object.   
  
Instead, she would ignore the butterflies it gave her just thinking about it and get dressed for the day, pulling her Slytherin robe on top of her attire.  
  
The walk up to the great hall was incredibly nerve wracking, to say the least. People were looking at her, and for the first time since she'd first come to this school, it wasn't out of fear. They knew she was on the Quidditch team now. They were looking at her like they were impressed. That they might've misjudged her. That maybe she _was_ human after all.   
  
She bit down on her lip to keep herself from smiling. Despite the recent accusations that she might actually be nice, she still wanted the other team to fear her, or at least be intimidated by her. As she entered the great hall, her eyes scanned the room, spotting Laura sitting with her friends at the Hufflepuff table. She kept her gaze on Laura until Laura looked up, smiling at Carmilla. She reflexively smiled back at her, unable to control herself like she never could when it came to Laura.   
  
The amount of self control she's lost over the past few days was extensive and rather undignified, especially for someone like Carmilla, whose pride and dignity were all she had.   
  
There was no doubt about it: she was crushing. Hard. And it was probably a stupid thing to do, especially when she didn't even know if this girl was gay, let alone into her in the same way she was. It was a guessing game and she was going into it blindly. And deafly.   
  
She sighed quietly and Laura walked over to her, stopping right in front of her.   
  
"Hey." Is it possible for the word 'hey' to sound incredibly sexy but also very adorable at the same time?   
  
"Hey," Carmilla replied sheepishly.  
  
They stood there for a moment, just awkwardly staring at each other, before Carmilla cleared her throat and started walking over to the Slytherin table, turning around to make sure Laura was following her. She was.   
  
She chewed on the inside of her cheek, finding it tremendously hard to suppress how happy she was feeling right now. For once in her life, her world wasn't falling completely apart.  
  
\------------  
  
Laura felt a tug at the pit of her stomach as she watched Carmilla eat, looking so peaceful and rather blissful. Laura thought it was the happiest she'd ever seen Carmilla.   
  
 _You have to tell her._  
  
But. She has a game in an hour. Maybe she should wait until after her game. She didn't want anything to ruin her concentration.   
  
 _This won't ruin her concentration. You two are just friends._  
  
No. She would wait until after the game. This had to be considered cheating in some way. Undermining the opponent. If Hufflepuff was going to have a chance of winning, they would do it fair and square.   
  
 _Hufflepuff won't win. Not with Carmilla on the opposing team._  
  
She smiled to herself at the thought, shoving pieces of her scrambled eggs into her mouth. She had to eat. Even if she felt like throwing up everything she's ever eaten in her entire life.   
  
She allowed herself to briefly look back at the Hufflepuff table, meeting Danny's distressed gaze. She swallowed hard and turned back to face Carmilla, her eyebrows shot up in question.   
  
"You okay, cupcake?"   
  
"Yeah... Yeah. I'm fine. Just nervous for the game." She forced a smile, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.   
  
"Nervous for a game you won't even be playing?" She smirked playfully, shoving as much food as she could into her mouth. "So... Is there a reason you wanted to have breakfast? Is it because you just significantly enjoy my company, or are you just secretly trying to find out our strategies to help your team win?"   
  
Oh, there was a reason, alright. "I just wanted to wish you luck, I guess." She shrugged, trying to come off nonchalant. "I know this is your first game and I know you would never admit to actually being excited about it to anyone other than me, so I just want you to know that even though I'm in Hufflepuff, I'll secretly be cheering you on."   
  
The look on Carmilla's face was painful to Laura. She was wrong. _This_ is the happiest she'd ever seen Carmilla. The warmth in her chest was back, this time taking a permanent residence as Carmilla's smile didn't fade once, not even when someone walked by to wish her luck.  
  
 _You have a girlfriend_. Right. A girlfriend who wouldn't stop staring at Laura like she was plunging about ten different knives into her back.  
  
She looked down at her food, deciding she was completely finished. She felt sick.   
  
"Anyway, I should probably go back to my table before I'm deemed a traitor. See you on the field." She gave Carmilla another smile and stood up, joining her friends (and girlfriend—how could she forget?) back at the Hufflepuff table.   
  
\------------  
  
She was up in the air as soon as the whistle blew. The wooden bat was held firmly in Carmilla's hands and she was instantly searching for at least one of the Bludgers the minute the game started. People were flying past her with great velocity, almost making her lose her balance at one point. But she was fast. She was strong. She was good.   
  
She flew to the other side of the field once she'd found one of the Bludgers flying towards one of her teammates. She got a steady grip on the bat and aimed herself forward slightly, hitting the Bludger just before it could affect her teammate. It flew towards one of the Hufflepuffs who wasn't quick enough, knocking the Quaffle out of his hands.   
  
One of her teammates caught it and the Slytherin side of the stands roared, cheering them on as the girl who'd caught the Quaffle threw it into the other team's hoops, scoring them ten points.   
  
The crowd cheered and Carmilla couldn't contain the tooth-baring grin she had plastered onto her face if she tried. Guess the cat's out of the bag: she isn't a heartless monster after all.  
  
Her first instinct was to find Laura in the Hufflepuff tower where she'd seen her before the game started. She was smiling at her, and Carmilla gave her a slight wave before returning back to the game, trying not to let her focus break.   
  
The game continued on for about forty more minutes before the golden snitch even made an appearance. They were up by thirty points. As soon as she spotted Matthew flying after the golden snitch, she immediately searched for the Bludger, trying to distract the other team from noticing that Matthew had spotted the snitch. It worked, because she almost knocked someone off their broom, which had the entire time highly concerned long enough for Slytherin to score another point, Matthew nearing the snitch more and more each second. The Hufflepuff Seeker was flying directly behind Matthew, but Matthew was much faster than he was.  
  
She looked around on the field, finding one of the Hufflepuffs with the Quaffle, and swung her bat, aiming the Bludger right at the girl. But she missed by half an inch and the girl shot the Quaffle into the hoop, the Hufflepuffs roaring at the ten points they just gained.  
  
She looked around until she found the other Slytherin beater, who also happened to be Carmilla's brother, Will, and she gave him a stern look. He nodded his head and they were both off within seconds, each of them finding one Bludger (there were two in every Quidditch game) and aiming them at the Chasers of the game, which frustrated the Hufflepuff keepers enough to keep them away from the Chasers (and Seeker - though their jobs weren't to protect the seeker) and angrily chase after Carmilla and Will. Carmilla's Bludger knocked one player completely off his broomstick, which snapped in half at the hard hit it took from the Bludger.   
  
She grinned smugly and glanced around the pitch, hearing Slytherin cheer when they scored another ten points. The Hufflepuff beaters were yelling at Will now and Carmilla dodged before a Bludger could hit her, completely distracted as she searched for Matthew. As soon as she found him, he dove forward on his broomstick, catching the snitch with one hand. And the crowd went wild the minute they heard "Slytherin wins!"   
  
Carmilla couldn't remember a time when she'd felt this happy.   
  
\------------  
  
Despite having just lost a Hufflepuff match, Laura felt like she had won something. Because Carmilla was happy, and it was something that came by so rarely for her, that it didn't even matter that her entire house was sulking.   
  
She tried not to overthink that and decided to just tell herself she would be happy if it were LaFontaine who were this happy and Ravenclaw had won.  
  
But she knew it was more deeply rooted than just seeing her friend happy. It _was_ about Carmilla. It was entirely about Carmilla, and she had no idea what to do about that. Because, even if she did feel something for her, she had Danny, and she wasn't going to compromise that. Danny loved Laura, and despite the love they had—or lack thereof—she didn't want to give up the friendship they shared, which would definitely happen if Laura ended things.   
  
Not that Laura didn't care for Danny, because she did. And her questioning of their relationship began way before she met Carmilla. In the beginning, they were fine, but as Danny became more and more immersed in school activities, she made less and less time for Laura. And, despite her knowing how much Laura hated to be parented, she still treated her like a child most of the time. And, like Laura did with all of her friends, she ignored it because she knew she meant well.  
  
But she didn't realize how amazing it felt to have someone care for her and treat her like an equal. Like someone who was old enough to make their own decisions and still be well aware of every single consequence. She didn't boss her around or tell Laura what to do. She understood her and every part of her and loved (or maybe they weren't that close yet, but it was still the care of a good friend) her for it. It was refreshing and it made her feel alive.  
  
And, most of all, it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before, which kind of made Laura sad. She had this dire need to be seen as an adult and not a child, and no one ever fulfilled that need.  
  
Until now.  
  
She kicked a wet rock below her foot, the lake water creeping up to just a few inches before her feet, gliding against the rocks with near-silent determination. Each time the water hit the rocks, it missed her feet by only a few inches, retracting back into the lake until the next wave hit, attempting (but failing) to do the same thing, never once giving up.   
  
Laura tried to create a metaphor out of that and insert it into her life, but she was stumped. It seemed like her _entire_ life was like the lake water, reaching but never really grasping, and she supposed that was a metaphor in and of itself.  
  
She closed her eyes, breathing in the cool air, and let out a breath which was visible in the fall air, opening her eyes to absorb the beauty before her, basking in the little sunlight that remained of the day.   
  
"What are you doing here?" The voice behind her sent chills running all down her spine, because for one moment, she thought it was Danny, but when she turned around, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw Carmilla. Of course it was Carmilla. Her voice was too velvety, too raspy, and way too sensual to belong to Danny. She should've known.  
  
"I can ask you the same question." She raised an eyebrow at Carmilla as Carmilla took a few steps toward her, her boots crunching against the rocks. Laura wondered how she didn't even hear her come up. The sound of her boots against those rocks was loud enough to be heard from at least twenty feet away. She was too tangled in her thoughts to have noticed, probably.   
  
"I come here sometimes to watch the sun set. And then I stay, because nothing can beat watching the moon rise slowly and the stars just begin to twinkle. It's breathtaking. And it's the same, no matter where you go. There will always be a sunset. There will always be a moon rise," she moved to stand beside Laura, looking down at her like she was the only person that existed right now. "And there will always be stars. Some places more than others, though." She was smiling at Carmilla's words, feeling that warmth in her chest that had become all too familiar for her now.   
  
"I like the way you describe things." She pulled her robe a little more snugly over her, feeling the chill of the air starting to glide all down her body, raising little goose bumps on the exposed parts of her skin.   
  
"If you're cold, I suggest we get you inside immediately."   
  
"What? And skip the sunset?" She said it almost mockingly and Carmilla's lips twitch up, halfway between a smile and what can only be described as "the Carmilla face" (which is really only Carmilla trying _not_ to smile and failing miserably. It might just be the cutest thing Laura's ever seen.)   
  
"There'll be another one tomorrow." This time, she _did_ smile, offering Laura a hand. She took it, letting her pull her out of the rocks and onto the grass.   
  
"Who knew you found nature aesthetically pleasing? Carmilla, the grump, coming out to watch the sunset?" She couldn't not smile once she saw the smile that took over Carmilla's face. It was intoxicating. It made her insides feel like they were going to fall apart at any minute now. "Congratulations on your win, by the way. You were amazing out there."   
  
"Thank you. But aren't you supposed to be severely angry that I beat your house and scream at me and tell me you never want to talk to me again?" Her voice was playful, and Laura decided this was a girl she never wanted out of her life.   
  
"Don't tell anyone, but I'm secretly glad you won. I don't think Hufflepuff knows how to handle a win. Slytherin would've never let us forget it. Also, I'm really proud of you, and I can't believe how incredible you were out there. You stole the entire game, in my opinion." Carmilla opened her mouth to speak, but Laura stopped her before she could. "Wait." She stopped walking with Carmilla right underneath a tree, which hid the only ray of sunshine that provided them with any ounce of warmth. _I have a girlfriend_ , she desperately wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't flow naturally.   
  
She opened her mouth to speak, but Carmilla was leaning in, and for a second Laura thought she was going to kiss her, and she reflexively closed her eyes in anticipation instead of taking a step back, which is what she should've done.   
  
But she didn't kiss her. She felt a cool hand on her cheek and she opened her eyes, finding Carmilla squinting at her fingers. "You had an eyelash on your cheek. Make a wish." She brought the little piece of hair up to Laura's face and Laura breathed in deeply, gently blowing the thing off of Carmilla's fingers.   
  
\------------  
  
Carmilla walked with Laura back into the Castle, the warmth immediately enveloping them, their bodies instantly relaxing at the change in climate. Laura smiled up at Carmilla, and it was the most beautiful smile Carmilla's ever seen.   
  
The velocity at which Carmilla was falling for this girl was incredibly terrifying, but also just a little bit exciting. Mostly terrifying, though, and not just because Carmilla hated being vulnerable with anyone.   
  
There was also the giant elephant in the room that she hadn't addressed, and that was her extremely homophobic mother. The headmistress of this school. The woman who literally sent a girl off to another school just because she was dating her daughter.   
  
And to top it all off, Laura could be extremely heterosexual, for all Carmilla knew. But she didn't want to believe it. She couldn't believe that. Not when every time Laura looked at her, she looked like she was longing to reach out and hold her. Kiss her. Make her feel like the most special person in the world.  
  
And around Laura, Carmilla actually felt it.   
  
"So, okay, I know that we haven't really known each other that long, but I'm really, really glad you're in my life and I just want to thank you for being such a good friend and never belittling me or making me feel small."  
  
Yeah, she definitely felt it.   
  
"Any time, buttercup. Although, I might make you feel smaller if you continue to wear those flats like you aren't a complete midget." She saw the flush in Laura's cheeks and the biting of her lips, secretly thinking she should probably win a medal for her self-control. "But seriously, any time." She gave her a genuine smile this time and they stopped just before the corridor that probably leads to the Hufflepuff common room. She can vaguely see stairs in front of her, so she suspects it's either below ground like the Slytherin common room or at ground level, which would make sense considering all of the Hufflepuffs particularly excel at Herbology.   
  
"So, listen, I know you don't want anything to do with my friends, and I don't really blame you, but I want them to get to know you. I want them to see the Carmilla that I see. Well, maybe not that much. I kind of like that you're only ever not grumpy around me." She smiled, and it was the most genuine smile in the world. She meant it. She really meant it.   
  
She knew that by the way Laura looked at her.  
  
Only one person in the world has ever looked at her like that.   
  
There's no way Laura didn't feel the same.  
  
Maybe she should test that theory.   
  
"I don't think anyone could be grumpy around you."   
  
The redness that took over Laura's cheek was adorable. She looked down at the ground to hide her smile, but there's no way Carmilla could miss it.   
  
"I don't understand why you won't let the rest of the world see how incredible you are. Maybe if they got to see you like this, they'd learn to love you like I—" It seems as though Laura felt the impact of what she said as soon as Carmilla did, because Carmilla took a step towards her, her heart racing at their close proximity.   
  
"Maybe I don't want to share this part of me with anyone else. Maybe I only want to give it to people who are special."   
  
Laura gazed up at her, her eyes wide and alive. She was red all over, her hair messy from how much she was nervously playing with it.   
  
Carmilla glanced down at her perfectly sculpted lips, feeling a dire need to lean down and feel them against hers.   
  
She fought past that and gazed back up at her eyes, trying to read the expression on her face.   
  
"Am I making you uncomfortable?"   
  
"No, I..." She was flustered. Good. "I just really should get back to my dorm. I... I have a lot of homework."   
  
Carmilla chuckled, taking a step back from her. "Whatever you say, cupcake."  
  
\------------  
  
Laura walked back to the Hufflepuff common room, feeling the guilt course through her. That encounter with Carmilla was entirely too close. But she couldn't deny the feeling that it gave her to be that close to Carmilla.   
  
The pounding of her heart against her chest. The feeling of the butterflies flying around her stomach. Being so flustered she can't even speak properly. Wanting more than anything to lean up and press her lips against Carmilla's...  
  
But then there was Danny. Her best friend. The person who knew her better than anyone. The one who's been there from the start, experienced it all with Laura... The one who loves her so much, Laura knows Danny would be lost without her.  
  
And yet...  
  
She was so torn and for the first time in a really long time, she didn't know what to do.  
  
She was always planning everything out: her day, her words, her actions. But this time, she was at a loss. She cared about Danny so much, but being around her felt draining. Being around Carmilla was exciting. It was thrilling. It made her feel like she had purpose. Like she was someone in this world.  
  
And it's not to say that Danny didn't, because Danny was a great girlfriend and she really did try hard to make Laura feel special. But it wasn't her fault that she couldn't. They just weren't entirely meant to be.   
  
She just didn't want to risk the friendship they've spent almost seven years building because she _might_ like someone else—no, not might, she _does_ like someone else—although it does go beyond that, since there's a lack of romantic connection between her and Danny as of lately.  
  
She was so lost in her agonizing train of thought, she didn't notice her until she was practically tapping the bricks to enter the common room. She came to a halt when she finally noticed Danny standing right next to the entrance of the common room, right beside Laura, her heart dropping to her stomach.   
  
"Danny, you're not supposed to be here! No one's supposed to know where the entrance is! I can get in big trouble for telling you!" She frantically pulled her slightly away from the entrance, looking around to make sure no one had seen Danny standing there.  
  
"I know, I know. I just needed to talk to you. Can we go somewhere? Our usual spot?" Danny's voice was high-strung. She could tell that she was on edge and that she'd been waiting for Laura here for a while now.  
  
Laura's heart was pounding now. She could feel it all throughout her body, her ears ringing as her face started to heat up.   
  
"Yeah." She swallowed hard and followed Danny away from the common room and down one of the deserted corridors, ducking into a small, dimly-lit hallway they've gotten used to sneaking off to when they wanted to be alone. She sat opposite Danny, playing with the string of her robe as she anticipated what Danny had to say to her.   
  
"I just thought we should spend some time together. I really am trying, Laura." Relief. That's all she could feel right now. Relief. But also a little bit of resentment. Not so much towards Danny, but towards herself for even having something to fear in the first place. It's not like she was cheating on Danny. No. Carmilla was just a friend.  
  
But does it count as cheating when you're thinking of cheating? No, not cheating, but _leaving_ the person you're with for someone else? Does that count as totally destructive and irrational behavior? Because, when it came down to it, she _did_ have a girlfriend. Which meant she shouldn't even be _thinking_ of someone else in a romantic light.  
  
And yet.  
  
"I know." Her voice sounded distant, like it didn't even come from her. "I know you are, and I really appreciate it. I appreciate you." She smiled at Danny and leaned over, grabbing her hand gently. "And you have to know that I'm trying, too, even if it doesn't seem like I am. Believe me, I am." And she was. She was trying so hard despite every part of her that wanted her to stop.   
  
Danny's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. It hasn't reached her eyes in months.   
  
"I know you are." Danny laced her fingers with Laura's and helped her up, wrapping her arms around Laura's neck. She sighed softly and wrapped hers around Danny's waist, leaning up gently as Danny leaned down a significant amount, pressing her lips softly against Laura's.   
  
It didn't feel right, but Laura kissed her back, convincing herself it was the right thing to do.  
  
Until.  
  
"What the... Are you fucking kidding me?"


	5. Chapter Five - The Mess I Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is heartbroken. Laura is heartbroken. Danny is heartbroken. It seems as though literally nothing is going right for any of them. Are they going to get out of this mess? Who knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned anxiety attacks a few times in this chapter and the breathing mechanisms that Laura uses DOES work and I highly recommend it for anyone suffering from anxiety/panic attacks! And that also counts as a trigger warning for anyone who has anxiety!

The walk back to the Slytherin common room was uncharacteristically cold, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the climate in the castle.  
  
Carmilla's eyes were wet, which she realized was the first time she'd actually teared up since Ell had to leave. She had promised herself after Ell that she wouldn't cry again. That she wouldn't allow herself to attain such vulnerability to the point of tears.  
  
She laughed as she wiped at the tears that were gliding down her face, mocking her for being so stupid to believe she would actually keep that promise.  
  
Laura had followed her quickly once she ran away, but it was too late. Carmilla was too fast and Laura couldn't both chase after Carmilla and explain to her _girlfriend_ —even the word was like bile in her mouth—why Carmilla was even upset in the first place.  
  
She should've known it was too good to be true. She should've known that this amount of happiness had to come with some sort of a price. She ignored all the signs and precautions she was meant to take and still leapt into this with full-force, which is probably why she ended up crashing in the end.   
  
And Laura made her choice. She stayed with her _girlfriend_ , which is what she was meant to do. Besides, it's not like Carmilla wasn't used to always being put second. Or third. Or tenth, for that matter.   
  
In retrospect, Laura didn't really owe her anything. They weren't dating, so it's not like she should be that surprised that things came down the way they did.   
  
It was probably the fact that Laura had a _girlfriend_ that revolted Carmilla so much. It's the fact that she'd lost to another _girl_ that made this all the more humiliating for her.   
  
She thought they had something. Was she going crazy? There was something in Laura's eyes that was always present when she was around Carmilla. Was Carmilla making that up in her head, too?   
  
This attraction, whether she wanted to believe it or not, was chemical. There's absolutely no way it could've been a one-way street.  
  
Could it?   
  
Could Laura really just be so sweet, she treats everyone in her life like that?   
  
The thought made Carmilla sick and she pushed it to the back of her mind, reaching up and wiping her tears on her sleeve. If anyone saw her like this right now, her reputation would be ruined.  
  
She needed to uphold what little of a "badass" reputation she had left. She needed to. She put on a brave face and muttered out the password, entering the Slytherin common room. There were people stretched out across the couches, some doing homework, some hanging out with friends. A few of them looked up when Carmilla entered the room, some of them even clapping at her entrance.   
  
On any other occasion, she would've smiled at them. Maybe even joined them for a chat.   
  
The thought was laughable to her now. She just ignored them and ran up to her dorm, slipping into the comfort of her own bed.   
  
For the first time since Ell left, Carmilla cried herself to sleep.  
  
\------------  
  
Laura got next to no sleep that night. She stayed up all night, tossing and turning, her heart twisting every time she even thought about either Danny or Carmilla.   
  
She should've told her. This is her own fault. She kept the most important piece of information about her life from Carmilla, and now Carmilla would hate her for it.   
  
 _You don't owe her anything. You aren't dating her._  
  
But surely Carmilla felt something for Laura, right? The way she looked at Laura... Danny's never looked at her like that before. Perhaps that was the most agonizing part about this all.   
  
The look on Carmilla's face when Laura pulled away from Danny was all Laura could see every time she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.  
  
It was broken. It was vulnerable. It was something you would _never_ expect from someone like Carmilla. It broke Laura's heart.   
  
She desperately wanted to go after her, to tell her it didn't mean anything... But Danny was her _girlfriend_ , and she couldn't both have her and be with Carmilla.   
  
Danny was confused as to why Carmilla was even upset, but then she put the pieces together and she was _furious_. It actually made Laura so angry that she was getting so possessive and irrational over someone else liking her.  
  
Okay, so maybe Danny's fears were indeed validated, because Laura _did_ like Carmilla, too. But the way Danny reacted wasn't even the way a girlfriend should react. She reprimanded her. She parented her.   
  
 _She might as well have grounded her._  
  
She gave up trying to sleep at about two in the morning and just lied there, weighing all the possible options in her head.   
  
If she left Danny, she didn't want Danny to think Carmilla was the reason behind it. The relationship had way too many problems and it was weighing her down. It had nothing to do with her liking Carmilla.  
  
Okay, maybe it did a little.  
  
If her and Danny broke up, she would maybe want to try and be with Carmilla eventually, but will Carmilla even forgive her for essentially lying to her?   
  
She fell asleep at around three in the morning, waking up only three hours later when her alarm rang. She was used to getting no sleep whenever she had to stay up late to finish all of her homework, so this didn't really affect her much.   
  
She got up and mechanically got dressed, not paying attention to anything other than her demanding thoughts.   
  
Danny had suggested they both sleep it out and talk the next day with a clear head, but Laura's head was anything but clear.   
  
She was dreading having to see Danny at breakfast, but she knew she had to, even though she had absolutely no idea what she was going to do.   
  
The walk up to the great hall was slow, Laura completely enveloped by a very bipolar thought process. On one hand, she loved Danny, and she really couldn't imagine her life without her. On the other, the love she felt for Danny was more platonic than anything else at this given point in their relationship. It was unfair of her to keep a loveless relationship going just because she was scared of losing Danny, even if Danny did love Laura in a romantic way. Danny deserved to be with someone who equally wanted to be with her.   
  
She took a sharp breath as she rounded the corner, entering the great hall with her breath held. Her eyes were immediately scanning the room, but there was no sign of Danny. Weird. She usually had breakfast right about now.   
  
A wave of unwarranted anxiety hit Laura, her chest tightening along with her lungs, the air becoming stuck just before it can enter her lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe. She focused on trying to practice the breathing exercises she was taught that would help with her anxiety as she walked to the Hufflepuff table, taking a seat next to an oblivious Kirsch.   
  
"Hey, little nerd." He offered Laura a smile and she managed to twitch her lips up slightly, hopefully satisfying Kirsch long enough for him to look away.   
  
 _Breathe._    
  
 _Four seconds of breathing in. Seven seconds of holding her breath. Eight seconds of releasing the air from her lungs._ That was the process she had to repeat until her chest calmed down, finally allowing air to pass through her lungs.   
  
She looked down at her food and felt sick. There was no way she'd be able to keep anything down right now, so she just played with it and hoped no one noticed she wasn't actually eating.   
  
Kirsch tried to talk to her a few times, but she just yawned and feigned being tired, so he let it go, not questioning her when she got up to leave.   
  
She was rounding the corner when she ran straight into a girl, knocking her stack of books down. She felt humiliated and bent down to help her pick her books back up until she got a look at who she ran into, her heart stopping for one second as she looked up at a very heartbroken Danny. They both stood up, neither of them allowing their eyes to meet the other.  
  
"Danny..."   
  
"Don't."   
  
"Danny, please. You don't know what this is doing to me."   
  
"Oh yeah, I'm sure having two people wrapped around your finger is just the absolute _worst_. So sorry you have to go through that. Must be hard."   
  
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice dropped to a whisper, tears starting to blur her vision. "I didn't cheat on you. I'm sorry that someone else likes me but I _didn't cheat on you_."   
  
"I really can't do this right now. I hav—"  
  
"We have to do this right now. I think maybe we should take a little break and figure out what we want."   
  
"I already know what I want, Laura. Do you?" Danny's questioning look was pained and she walked away before she gave Laura a chance to respond.  
  
She knew what she wanted. She wanted Carmilla.   
  
\------------  
  
Carmilla didn't wake up until noon the next day. She had skipped at least two classes and decided she once again didn't give a shit about anything other than getting out of this hellhole. She stayed in bed for half an hour before getting dressed and heading down for breakfast (lunch). She had her fingers crossed she wouldn't run into anyone she knew.  
  
But as soon as she was in the great hall, Elsie was smiling and motioning for her to join. And she thought why the hell not. This girl was hot and she wanted to hang out with Carmilla. She smirked and walked over to her, taking the empty seat next to her.   
  
"Hey, cutie." The words felt wrong. It was wrong to call her that. She wasn't Laura.   
  
 _Laura doesn't care about you._  
  
The words made her chest tighten and she did her best to ignore it, taking a bite of a carrot as she turned to face Elsie. "Feel like ditching class with me today? We can... Hang out... In the dorms."   
  
She raised an eyebrow at Elsie who turned pink at how suggestive Carmilla was being.   
  
"Actually, I don't have another class for about two hours. So I'm free to... Hang out."   
  
"Perfect." She went back to eating her food, trying to hurry the process as much as possible. Mostly because she wanted to _hang out_ as soon as possible, but also because she wanted to avoid the awkwardness that would ensue if Laura walked in here at any given moment.  
  
Both of them finished their food and exchanged a nervous look, Elsie giggling at the state of impatience Carmilla seemed to be in. She grabbed Elsie by the hand and they both stood up, their faces completely flushed. "Let's go." Carmilla was tired of waiting. She wanted what she wanted and she needed it now.  
  
She pulled Elsie out of there and they walked as fast as they could back to the Slytherin common room. No one was in Carmilla's dorm room so she snuck Elsie in and closed the door after them.   
  
\------------  
  
Laura slumped down on the chair in front of the fire place, the Hufflepuff common room serving as a safety blanket—a safe house of some sort. She hasn't seen Danny since breakfast, but she's had enough time to think about everything to come to the conclusion that she wanted Carmilla and she needed to break things off with Danny for good.  
  
If only Danny would talk to her. She had suggested a break, so maybe Danny was avoiding her because of it. She didn't really blame Danny. She would avoid herself, too, if she could.   
  
She sighed heavily and took her books out of her bag, beginning her homework for the night. She was sure she wouldn't be done until at least midnight.   
  
\------------  
  
Laura was pretty sure that if she'd ever come close to a breaking point, right now would be it. She had overwhelmed herself with more classes than she could handle and she _still_ decided that wasn't enough to throw into her life. She _had_ to have more drama. She _had_ to have a girlfriend and fall for another girl who may or may not even feel the same and who probably hates her right now.   
  
And above it all, she was worrying more so than usual about leaving her dad alone in the house. He had been extra lonely lately, exhibiting strange, melancholy behavior that had Laura worried sick about him. He had told her he was just feeling a bit more tired than usual and took a break from work to ease her mind, but she was still anxious.   
  
Her exuberance was shortening quicker than her growth spurt in middle school. It's only the second month of school and everything is already complete _shit_.   
  
She set her homework down when she decided she couldn't concentrate enough to finish what little homework she had left. She had to find out at least _one_ thing. She was always planning, always knowing ahead. And right know, she knew _nothing_ , which absolutely terrified her. She hated not knowing.   
  
Glancing around, she wasn't surprised to see she was the only person left in the common room. It was just a little bit before midnight and everyone had gone to bed. Good. This time, she hid her stuff under the couch cushions, spreading them out so it wouldn't be so obvious. Hopefully neither Perry nor the head boy decide to "check on things" tonight. She was breaking the rules ten hot seconds after promising Perry she wouldn't sneak out again.   
  
The first place Laura looked was the Quidditch field. It actually shocked her when she _didn't_ find Carmilla there. But she knew she wasn't in bed right now. Carmilla was never in bed early, especially when she was upset. She shuddered at the thought of Carmilla being upset because of her and looked around, racking her brain for suggestions as to where she could be.  
  
Roaming the castle? Well, she has to have _somewhere_ she goes when she does. Maybe the library? Restricted section, even? Does Carmilla own an invisibility cloak? Is that how she never gets caught?  
  
No. That can't be it.   
  
"Focus," she muttered under her breath, closing her eyes to try to see a different perspective.   
  
But all she saw is that look on Carmilla's face when they were by the lake and she had told Laura that she only wanted to share the good part of her with people who were special. An involuntary smile crept onto Laura's face, her heart swelling at the thought of being special to Carmilla.  
  
And then it hit her.   
  
The lake.  
  
\------------  
  
She walked up to the big boulder set at the edge of the lake quietly, careful not to scare Carmilla away. She was sitting on the big rock facing the lake, her back to Laura as she approached from behind. But once she was walking on the rocks, there was no way she wouldn't hear her.  
  
Carmilla whipped her head around at the sound of Laura's obnoxious footsteps, and Laura heard the sigh of relief escape Carmilla's mouth, her face unable to be seen in the dark.  
  
Her eyes were adjusting, though, and she was able to see Carmilla's features, illuminated by the beautiful moon light.   
  
"What are you doing here?" Carmilla's voice was cold, rigid. Laura tensed, stopping just in front of her, but Carmilla's face wasn't giving her away.   
  
"I... I was looking for you and I didn't know where you'd be and I just... I thought you would be here."   
  
"Well, congratulations. You found me. Now you can go back to your dorm and go back to pretending I don't exist."  
  
"Carmilla..."  
  
"Don't. I don't want to hear it."   
  
"But, just let me explain—"  
  
"There is absolutely nothing to explain. You have a girlfriend. And I have to go."   
  
"No." Laura grabbed Carmilla's wrist, but Carmilla shook her off roughly, releasing her hand from Laura's grasp. "No. You don't understand."   
  
"Don't understand what, exactly? How you lied to me? How you looked at me like I was special and then went home to _someone else_ and did the exact same thing? What exactly do I not understand here, Laura? That you use your innocent demeanor to lure people in and just break them the first chance you get? When they're already pretty fucking broken to begin with? No, I guess I _don't_ understand." That was the first time Carmilla had called Laura by her real name, and it was like a slap in the face. If she had said it under different circumstance, it would probably send shivers all down Laura's body.  
  
She moved to walk away and Laura wanted to stop her, but she was speechless. The pain in Laura's chest that Carmilla's words left her feeling was insufferable.  
  
When she did talk, her voice was soft, her words cracking as tears started pouring out of her eyes.   
  
"Please, Carmilla. You're... You make me feel...—"  
  
"Let me guess. I make you feel special and she doesn't. You want me but you can't have me and keep your girlfriend at the same time so you're giving me up because you have a history and I'm nothing compared to that. Save your breath, sweetheart. I've heard it all."   
  
 _I choose you_ , Laura wanted to say. _I want you. She's the one who can't compare to you. Stay. Please. Stay_.  
  
The words wouldn't come to her. There was a giant lump stuck in Laura's throat, making it difficult for her to breathe. Carmilla hated her. She opened up to Laura and trusted her and Laura took that away from her.  
  
She took the only friend Carmilla had away from her.  
  
She managed to croak out a "wait," which got Carmilla's attention enough for her to stop walking and turn around to face Laura.  
  
Although her vision was blurry, she could see from the look on her face that Carmilla was just as broken as Laura was.   
  
\------------  
  
Being mean to Laura was probably the hardest thing Carmilla has had to do, apart from dealing with Ell leaving. She was crying and it was breaking Carmilla's heart but what could she do other than walk away? Laura made her choice and she wasn't going to hug her and tell her it was okay when it wasn't.   
  
So clearly Laura felt something for Carmilla, but whatever it was, it was microscopic, because she didn't choose her in the end.   
  
The only person that had ever chosen Carmilla was Ell, and Carmilla found herself tearing up as she walked away from Laura, her heart twisting at the thought of never truly being happy again.  
  
Everything she ever loves is taken from her, and it's not fair. It's _not fair_.   
  
She forced the tears back, trying to keep her promise to herself to not cry again, because she needed to be strong. She had to hold her own. But when Laura said "wait" in that broken and cracked voice of hers, something in Carmilla broke along with her and she turned around, her tears falling without her permission at the look on Laura's face.  
  
It was tearing her apart. She could see it. It was breaking Laura just as much as it was breaking Carmilla.  
  
But why? She didn't care about Carmilla.   
  
Carmilla took a deep breath, her legs shaking as she waited for Laura to speak again.  
  
It took her a minute to compose herself well enough to speak, but when she did, the words that came out of her mouth shocked Carmilla to her core.   
  
"I want you." Although her words were not loud enough, she heard them, and suddenly her knees wanted to give out. "I choose you, Carmilla. I choose you."  
  
 _I choose you too_. Her heart was breaking. She knew what she had to do. She knew what she had done and as selfish as it was that she couldn't face it right now, she had to push Laura away because she couldn't stand to hurt her. Not after seeing the look on her face now.   
  
"Yeah, well. I don't choose you." Her tears glided down her face slowly as she turned around, walking away from Laura without another glance.  
  
\------------  
  
The amount of guilt Carmilla was harboring over what she'd done kept her up all night that night. She had found comfort in Elsie the night before and couldn't bring herself to tell Laura, even though she didn't allow it to go that far. But that wasn't fair to Laura. It wasn't fair that she ran to someone else, even if just for a moment, just to try to forget how she felt about Laura. Because even though Laura hurt her, her heart belonged to Laura. And it wasn't fair to Elsie, either.  
  
She couldn't see the look on Laura's face when she lied to her, but that was because she was a coward and would've broken and told her the truth if she would have seen it.   
  
But as she lay awake at night, all she could do was hate herself for hurting someone who only ever had good intentions. This is exactly why she didn't deserve her. Laura deserved so much better than Carmilla, anyway. She would be better off without such a monumentally fucked up person in her life.  
  
This is exactly why Carmilla doesn't have any friends.  
  
She screws every goddamn thing up.   
  
\------------  
  
Laura got absolutely no sleep that night. She lay in bed until her alarm clock went off and switched between crying and replaying what happened by the lake over and over in her head.  
  
It just didn't make any sense to her. Why would Carmilla act like this? She knew Carmilla had a... Troubled past, but to throw that at Laura? And then tell her she didn't choose her? After expressing how angry she was when she thought Laura didn't choose her?   
  
It was so frustrating. _She_ was so frustrating.   
  
And, despite being curled up in bed trying to contain her sobs so she wouldn't wake her roommates, Laura couldn't help but think of all the things Carmilla made her feel that Danny didn't. And that included heartbreak. And boy, did she feel heartbroken right now.   
  
It was probably the worst she's ever felt, and yet she had never felt more alive. Because for once, she was actually feeling something. For once, she was passionate about something that could be (and was) taken away from her. For once, she can actually physically feel it in her chest.   
  
It was the worst and the best thing that could be happening right now. She was glad she could feel something, but she didn't want to be without Carmilla.  
  
When her alarm clock finally rang, she got dressed and made her way down to the great hall as quickly as she could. She had a class with Carmilla in a few hours and she was going to confront her. She had to. They couldn't end things the way they did. It just wasn't fair.   
  
She had completely forgotten that she was still with Danny until she found herself standing right in front of her in the Great Hall, her heart pounding as all the remorse flooded through her. She was going to have to hurt Danny in order for both of them to move forward.  
  
She made the first move.   
  
"Hey... We should probably talk about things. I know you probably don't want to talk to me and honestly I don't blame you because I know things are really messed up right now but despite that I really do still care and I want you to know that even if we end up apart, I'll always care about you and nothing will ever change that, Danny, I swear that won't ever change—"  
  
"Christ, Laura, slow down. Breathe." She took in a deep breath and resumed. "Shit, fuck."   
  
"What's wrong?" The anxiety hit her full-force as soon as she saw the look on Danny's face. Her heart sped up and she swallowed hard, trying to fight past her tightening lungs.   
  
"I... I fucked up, Laura."   
  
 _Try to remember how to breathe._  
  
"What... What happened?"   
  
"Please don't hate me. Please..."   
  
The pounding. The acceleration. The tightening. It was all overwhelming and her head was spinning.   
  
 _Breathe._    
  
She needed to sit down, but her feet wouldn't move with her.   
  
 _Four seconds breathing in. Seven seconds holding it in. Eight seconds releasing air._  
  
When she finally looked up at Danny, there were tears falling down Danny's face. How bad could this be?   
  
"Danny, please. Just say it."  
  
 _Pounding._  
  
"I... Fuck, Laura. I got really drunk last night and.. Fuck, shit, fuck. I'm so sorry."   
  
No. She couldn't be saying what she thinks she's saying. No. She would never. No.  
  
"Did you..."   
  
"I'm _so_ sorry. I don't even... I can't... I know you probably won't forgive me, and I don't blame you. Fuck, I'm so sorry. It meant nothing."   
  
Falling. She was falling, and she wasn't sure she would ever be able to get back up.


	6. Chapter Six - New Romantics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> carmilla and laura are married, basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long to update - I was in the hospital for four days and had to return again last night but I'm okay now (I hope) and you should definitely expect the next chapter at normal pace. Enjoy!

The walk over to her Care of Magical Creatures class was exceptionally lonely. Carmilla was dreading having to see Laura after everything that was said between them. Well, after everything Carmilla said to Laura. After she deliberately broke her just because she couldn't face her own mistake.  
  
Although, in her defense, she didn't do anything wrong. Not to Laura, at least. Laura had someone else. So why shouldn't Carmilla be able to seek that type of comfort in someone else, too?   
  
She huffed out as she made the walk down the grass and to the edge of the forest, but as she was walking, she noticed one thing in particular: Laura wasn't there. The class had already started and Laura wasn't there.   
  
If there's one thing Laura isn't, it's late.   
  
She ditched.   
  
Carmilla immediately turned around and walked quickly back to the castle, feeling her insides churn at the thought of Laura being unable to face her. At the thought of Laura being in such overwhelming pain, she refused to go to class.  
  
She was starting to feel dizzy and she needed to find Laura, tell her everything would be okay... But where would she be? She couldn't just walk into the Hufflepuff common room. There's absolutely no way she could get away with that.   
  
But where else would Laura be?   
  
Fuck it.  
  
She groaned in defeat and started walking in the same direction as the other night when she'd walked Laura to the stairs she assumed lead to the Hufflepuff common room. She'd never seen the common room before but it had to be in that general area, so she just followed by memory and hoped that it would lead her in the right direction.   
  
This would no doubt get her in an incredulous amount of trouble with her mother, but right now, all she cared about was making Laura somehow feel better. She was worth all the punishment in the world (but only if the punishment didn't involve having your girlfriend sent off to another school).  
  
She silently kicked herself for thinking that and kept walking, her heart starting to pound as she neared the set of stairs she dropped Laura at that lead down.  
  
She stopped halfway down the stairs when she saw a few Hufflepuffs emerge from a spot in a nook on the right hand side of the kitchen corridor and she ran back up the stairs, deciding she needed to devise a new plan as she simultaneously memorized where the entrance was.  
  
An imaginary lightbulb appeared over her head and she had to run up a few flight of stairs, searching frantically for the room she required until it appeared right in front of her: the room of requirements. She closed her eyes and clenched her hands into fists, thinking long and hard about just what she wanted. When she opened the double doors, she walked into a room that was lined with about a thousand invisibility cloaks. She bit her lip and grabbed the nearest one, pulling it over her slender frame. She had absolutely no time to marvel about this room and how it wasn't a myth afterall.   
  
When she was fully covered with it, she exited the room and made her way back down to where the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room was, which she could see now was hidden behind barrels. All Carmilla could hear was the pounding in her ears, her heart racing at the thought of somehow being caught at any given moment. She lingered right outside for about ten minutes before the lid opened, two students crawling out one after the other. She held her breath and slipped inside quickly before the lid closed. She had to crawl down a narrow passageway before she finally made it into the common room.  
  
The Hufflepuff common room looked exactly like what someone might expect a Hufflepuff common room to look like. It was round—the ceilings hung low enough to allow the sun to beam through the glass windows at the very top. There were about a million plants hanging from the ceilings or sitting atop the windowsills. It felt like an indoor sunny field, if that made any sense.  
  
Just outside the windows, all Carmilla could see was grass and dandelions. She hated to admit it, but it was actually kind of lovely.   
  
She rolled her eyes at her own sickening thoughts and froze in place when she heard two people walking down, heading right in the direction where Carmilla stood. She started silently panicking and took a few steps to the right just in time to avoid one of the boys by an inch, her heart pounding at the close encounter.  
  
 _Focus. Find Laura._  
  
She walked up the set of stairs as silently as possible, hoping that the dorms here were set up the same way the Slytherin dorms were. She crossed her fingers and ran up several flights of stairs until she reached the last one. There were two doors up here, which only amplified Carmilla's nerves.   
  
One of the doors was slightly cracked, so she took the opportunity and peaked inside. From what she could see, it was empty, aside from scattered girls' clothing here and there. She took a deep breath and opened the door all the way, stepping inside to a room that only had one person inside of it.   
  
"Hello?!" The girl jumped up quickly when the door burst open, looking around the room frantically. Carmilla remembered she was still wearing the invisibility cloak and quickly removed it, unable to stop the croak of laughter that soon followed at the desperate look on Laura's face.   
  
"What the... How did you... You're not allowed.... Holy _shit_ , Carmilla, what were you _thinking_?! Oh my god, you can get in _so_ much trouble! Oh my god, _I_ can get in so much trouble! What the _hell_ is wrong with you? You're a _Slytherin!_ " Laura was pacing around the room now, voicing her anxiety loud enough for the entire school to hear.   
  
Carmilla closed the door and took a few steps towards Laura, keeping her cloak in hand just in case someone showed up and she had to slip it back on.   
  
"Why didn't you show up to class?" _Do you know how worried I've been?_  
  
"What, are you going to parent me now, too?"   
  
Carmilla scoffed, playing it off like she was nonchalant as she plopped down on one of the beds, crossing her leg over the other. "Relax, cupcake. I would've ditched with you if I would've known."   
  
"Oh, so now I'm back to being 'cupcake?'" She was glaring at Carmilla now, and as much as it should've hurt Carmilla, she couldn't help but find it adorable. _Laura_ was adorable. "And maybe I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to join."   
  
"Oh?" Carmilla was smirking now, sprawled out against the bed in a rather provocative pose. "Then why haven't you kicked me out of your room yet?"   
  
This took Laura by surprise, because her cheeks flushed and she stumbled on her words. "I, well, I... You... Ugh." Carmilla's smirk grew as Laura attempted to compose herself, and Carmilla noted that Laura was trying to look everywhere but at Carmilla. "You practically risked your life to be here, so it must be important, right?"   
  
Carmilla sat up, crossing her legs as she faced Laura. Laura sighed and sat on her bed which was next to the one Carmilla was on, turning to finally look at her properly. "Look, cupcake. I know we left things off weird and I... I guess I wanted to... Apologize." She mumbled that last word, having never been good at saying the word 'sorry' before. But she was also never good at seeing someone she cared about in pain.   
  
\------------  
  
Laura's eyes narrowed at Carmilla and she balled her hands into fists to try to hold back her tears. If only Carmilla knew the extent at which her words actually hurt Laura. If only she knew what Danny told her just shortly after...  
  
"Apology accepted. Anything else?" She tried to make her voice sound as unaffected as possible, but it only ended up sounding small, which she could tell took Carmilla by surprise.   
  
"Yeah, actually, there is. But I can tell I'm unwelcome here right now, so maybe we can just talk later."   
  
Ugh. She was so infuriating.   
  
"Wait. No. What is it?"   
  
She looked away from Laura and she started jittering her legs, which Laura recognized as a sign of being nervous and exhibiting anxiety. She waited for her to speak, although she knew whatever she had to say wouldn't be easy for her.   
  
"I know I don't really owe you any explanations or anything, but after I found out you had a girlfriend, I got really upset and—"  
  
"No. _No._ Not you, too. You slept with someone else, didn't you?"   
  
"What? No. I just kissed someone else. And what do you mean 'not you too'?" Laura's eyes started to water and she looked away from Carmilla, unable to face her at her given implication. "Laura, did... Did your girlfriend cheat on you?"   
  
\------------  
  
Laura didn't have to answer Carmilla. The look on her face said it all. It broke Carmilla into tiny little pieces to see the pain it was putting Laura through. She felt a million times guiltier than she already did for seeking comfort in Elsie. But she was mostly angry. Angry at her girlfriend for hurting her in such a cowardly way. And maybe it was hypocritical of her to be angry, but at least Carmilla didn't _sleep_ with someone else...  
  
She wouldn't have caught it if she wasn't paying close attention to Laura, but there was a very small nod of her head, swiftly followed by a sob that Carmilla was sure was involuntary. She instinctively got up and took a seat right next to her on the bed she was sitting on, carefully throwing her arms around her. She had expected Laura to push her away, but she rested her head against Carmilla's shoulder and leaned into her hug instead.  
  
Carmilla bit at the inside of her cheek to keep herself from tearing up at the sight of Laura like this. She'd seen Laura cry before, and yeah, it hurt her, but it wasn't anything like this. She was broken this time. And Carmilla was absolutely positive about the way she felt about her now.  
  
She tightened her grip around Laura, neither one of them saying anything for a while. Laura needed to cry and Carmilla was going to let her. And if she felt like talking, she would be here to listen. She would be here to do anything Laura needed right now.   
  
She was subconsciously stroking her hair, the other arm resting around Laura's arm as she held her even closer than before. She hadn't heard a sniffle in a while, so she spoke up. "I didn't mean what I said. The other day. I'm sorry, Laura. I'm so sorry. I was being a selfish coward. I'm not used to people choosing me. I'm not used to letting people care about me. You are the most special person I've ever met and I don't want to push you away anymore. I don't want to hurt you anymore."   
  
At that, Laura looked up, her eyes meeting with Carmilla's. Carmilla's guard was entirely down now, which is something she wasn't anticipating. But seeing Laura so broken... She couldn't help it. She wiped the tears from Laura's face until her face was dry, wiping her hands on her robe.   
  
She gave Laura a small smile and when Laura reciprocated it, her stomach did those tiny flips until Laura's line of eyesight fell to Carmilla's lips. She nearly stopped breathing, her brain instantly fogging as Laura didn't once take her eyes off of them. And call her crazy, but she was almost sure Laura was very slightly leaning forward.  
  
Her breathing was becoming ragged. She was staring back at Laura's lips, her heartbeat about twice the pace of its normal beat. She felt like she was going to pass out. Laura was consuming her and all she could do was lean closer, closer, closer...   
  
The floorboard right outside of the room creaked and she jumped up immediately, both of them quickly snapping out of whatever was about to happen.   
  
"Shit," she muttered as she frantically searched for her invisibility cloak. She found it and slipped it on just in time for someone to open the door and enter the room. When she turned to look at Laura, she was frozen, her face flushed a deep maroon. She wasn't moving from the bed.  
  
Carmilla was incredibly complacent as she looked at the condition Laura was in right now. She was going to kiss her. They were going to kiss. If it hadn't been for this _stupid fucking interrupting asshole_ standing right in front of Laura, they would be kissing right now.  
  
Okay, so maybe an interruption wasn't the worst thing in the world right now. Their first kiss shouldn't happen just because they were both too vulnerable and needed self-affirmation.   
  
The girl spoke up, asking Laura why she was in here in the middle of the day.   
  
"I—I didn't feel good. I'm.... Much better now, so I think I'll head to class." Laura got up, looking at the spot Carmilla was in (it was the last spot she'd seen her before she placed her invisibility cloak on and Carmilla hadn't moved). Laura left and the girl was utterly confused at what Laura was looking at. She looked right at Carmilla but shrugged it off after she found nothing. Carmilla let out her breath and quietly followed Laura out of that room and down the stairs to the common room.  
  
A few people tried to stop Laura to talk to her, but she just squeaked out "I'm late for class!" and ran out of the common room as fast as she could (apart from the last part because she notably had to crawl with Carmilla following right after her).   
  
When they were out of there, Carmilla heard Laura whisper "are you still here?" which made Carmilla's lips twitch up into a smile, followed by a "yes, cutie. I'm still here."   
  
"Okay, good. Follow me."   
  
And she did.   
  
She would honestly follow Laura anywhere at this point.  
  
\------------  
  
Laura guided Carmilla to the same hideaway place to which she would take Danny. She would've taken her anywhere else, but this was the only proper place she knew where absolutely no one would interrupt them. From the look on Carmilla's face, the memories this place brought her were clearly unpleasant.   
  
But Laura was hoping to make new memories.   
  
They both sat down facing each other, each of them nervously playing with something on their clothes to try to distract them from the talk they clearly needed to have.   
  
Carmilla took initiative.   
  
"I'm sorry your girlfriend cheated on you."  
  
"I don't want to talk about Danny right now." She kept her gaze down, feeling her heart speed up at the question she was dying to ask Carmilla. "Who... Who was it? That you kissed?"   
  
"Laura..." The look on her face told Laura to stop, but she just had to know.   
  
"It's okay. I can handle it. I promise."   
  
"Her name's Elsie. She's the Slytherin Keeper."  
  
"Did you two do anything more than make out? Be honest."   
  
"Laura, why are you doing this? It's in the past. It doesn't matter. I only did it because I thought you didn't care. What I did with her shouldn't matter."   
  
"So you did. You had sex with her."   
  
"No. I already told you I didn't."  
  
"Then what, Carmilla? Please just tell me."   
  
Carmilla sighed, clearly unable to win this one, and gave in.   
  
"We made out. A lot. And we... We got naked, and she wanted to... But I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do that to you. Or her, for that matter. I don't believe sex should be shared with someone who doesn't mean anything to you. And she doesn't mean anything to me. Not like that."   
  
Laura stayed quiet for a moment, taking Carmilla's words in as best as she could. She was hurt, and jealous, but Carmilla was right. Everything she did shouldn't matter. They weren't together. They're still not together. She didn't owe Laura anything. And yet Carmilla _still_ stopped Elsie, and that was enough to reassure Laura.  
  
She moved forward a little, staring down at Carmilla's hands. She wanted to grab them, but she was absolutely terrified of making that first move.  
  
But Carmilla caught on, because she gently took Laura's hand in hers and laced their fingers together. When Laura looked up, Carmilla's smile lit the entire room. It was the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen. She couldn't help but return the smile with just as much enthusiasm.  
  
"I'm glad you don't want to push me away anymore. You deserve a really good friend. That... Sounded a lot less cocky in my head." She giggled, squeezing Carmilla's hand gently.  
  
"I will never deserve you." Carmilla's face didn't show a single ounce of humor and Laura knew she meant it. She frowned, shaking her head at that.   
  
"That's not true. You deserve the world."  
  
Carmilla just shook her head, looking at a distant spot in the wall, probably recalling some painful memory that makes her think she isn't good enough for some reason.   
  
"You're more than good enough, Carmilla. You're kind and caring and you would do anything for the people you care about. _You snuck into the Hufflepuff common roo_ m for me. Do you know how insane that is? You did that _for me_. You're the best friend I've ever had."   
  
She turned her head and Carmilla was staring at her with such intensity, she immediately stopped talking. She'd never seen anyone look at anyone else that way before. It was the most powerful look and it was directed at Laura. She had never felt more special in her entire life.   
  
She wanted Carmilla to kiss her more than anything else in that moment. Her breathing was ragged and she didn't even bother trying to hide how much she wanted that kiss. She was staring directly at her lips now, her tongue gently gliding against her lower lip in anticipation.   
  
When Carmilla leaned in, she closed her eyes, waiting for the moment Carmilla's lips finally touched hers.  
  
But all she felt was a kiss on the cheek. She sighed and opened her eyes to Carmilla's stare, this time less intense than before. Why didn't Carmilla kiss her? She had the perfect opportunity...   
  
"You're my best friend, too."   
  
That's why. She didn't want to ruin their friendship.  
  
\------------  
  
Carmilla walked back to the Slytherin common room with a bigger-than-life grin on her face. She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt this genuinely happy. And as badly as she wanted to kiss Laura, she was glad she didn't.   
  
She didn't want to just be a rebound. She didn't want to have to force Laura to get into anything directly after breaking up with her girlfriend. They both needed time and that was okay. There was so much about each other they have yet to learn and they had nearly all the time in the world to learn it.   
  
Before they said their goodbyes, they made plans to hang out all day tomorrow, which included Carmilla having to endure Laura's friends for at least part of the day. But if that meant getting to be around Laura, it was completely worth it.   
  
Now she had to deal with the other elephant in the room: Elsie. She still owed her an explanation, even if they were both aware whatever happened was going to be a one-time thing. It still wasn't fair to have used her like that, whether she was compliant or not.   
  
When she entered the common room, she immediately wiped the smile off her face, hoping no one caught her actually looking happy. She looked around and thankfully found Elsie sitting by the fireplace reading a book. She furrowed her brows and took a seat next to her, resting her legs up on the coffee table.   
  
"Someone's in a good mood." She looks at Carmilla from behind her book, raising her eyebrows in question of her perkier-than-usual behavior.   
  
" _Someone_ is here to apologize for the other night. I shouldn't have used you like that. I'm sorry."   
  
Elsie laughed, waving Carmilla off like it was nothing. "Honey, I was a full participant in that endeavor. If I didn't want you to kiss me, I wouldn't have let you kissed me. You're the one who walked out, remember?" There was a smirk on Elsie's face now, which definitely lightened the mood, taking the weight of the situation off of Carmilla's shoulders.   
  
"Right. Well, I guess that's all I wanted to talk about. See you at practice?"   
  
"I'll be the one defending the posts."  
  
\------------  
  
Laura couldn't stop smiling if her life depended on it. She was falling for this girl and it was bad. Well, it was good, but the rate at which she was falling was alarming. She had never fallen for someone so quickly. Or so willingly. And if Carmilla wanted to be friends first, fine. She would give her all the time in the world.  
  
As long as she knew Carmilla felt the same way, everything was okay.  
  
Well, almost everything.   
  
There was still Danny. And despite the lack of romantic interest, she was still her friend. And it still hurt that Danny would actually cheat on Laura. That she would want to hurt her so badly, she would go behind her back and betray her in the worst way...   
  
Laura shuddered even thinking about it. She was going to have to face Danny soon, but for now, she'd just let herself enjoy being happy for once and worry about all the other stuff later.   
  
As she neared the stairs leading down to the entrance of the common room, she saw Perry and LaFontaine, sitting with absolutely no space between them on the top step. They had their backs faced to Laura but it was clear they were kissing. And it made Laura very happy to see at least someone enjoying their love life. She laughed and shook her head, walking past them with a quick "get a room!" as she bolted down the stairs and entered the common room.  
  
"Hey, little nerd." Laura smiled as she sat down on the couch next to a very tired looking Kirsch.   
  
"Hey, Kirsch. Finished your homework?"   
  
"Yeah, finally. Where were you today, dude? You, like, totally missed a very important lecture about the importance of safety equipment in potions."   
  
"Wow, wonder if he'll let me make that up. Sounds extremely exciting" They looked at each other for a moment and both broke out into laughter.   
  
"But seriously, dude. Where were you?"   
  
"I ditched."   
  
"No, seriously."   
  
"I'm serious! I felt like having a day off. Life is overwhelming."   
  
"Whoa. Never thought this day would come. How does it feel?"   
  
"Hmm... Liberating. But I'll have to go back tomorrow and that means twice the work, so yay." She rolled her eyes, looking down at the finished homework in Kirsch's lap.  
  
"Listen, I heard about Danny. If you ever, you know, want to talk about it..."   
  
"Thanks, Kirsch, but that ship has sailed, I'm afraid. And I think I'm boarding a new one."  
  
"Carmilla." It wasn't even a question.   
  
"Yeah... Anyway, thanks for offering. You're, like, a really good friend, Kirsch." They both smile at each other and Kirsch leans over, wrapping his arms around Laura in what he calls a "bro hug." She laughs as he messes her hair. "Okay, okay. Go to sleep! And take a shower. You smell."   
  
"Aye, aye, captain." He laughs and collects his stuff, standing up to head upstairs. "Sleep well, little nerd."   
  
"You too, Brody."   
  
"Don't call me that!" He points a finger at her and shakes it and she can't help but laugh. She watches him head up the stairs and she lets out a heavy sigh, knowing she has to follow.  
  
With a deflated groan, she heads up the stairs and back to her dorms.   
  
Too many things happened today but tomorrow was a new day and everything would be okay.   
  
Tomorrow meant seeing Carmilla. And that meant everything was okay.


	7. Chapter Seven - I Want You To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both songs fit in really well in this chapter. Both are by Zedd! Enjoy :)

It had been three weeks and they still hadn't kissed. Laura was starting to get extremely impatient. The implication of both of their feelings hung in the air every time they were together, but neither of them seemed willing to take that first step and lean in.  
  
They would do other couple-y things like hold hands under the table when no one can see them (did Laura mention Carmilla sits with them at the Hufflepuff table now?) and always sit way closer than any two normal friends were supposed to sit, but the kiss just wasn't happening.  
  
Carmilla was getting busy with Quidditch. Slytherin had played Ravenclaw and won, so now they were preparing for the big, final match against Gryffindor. It took up nearly all of Carmilla's free time, but she somehow still made time for Laura.   
  
Laura's feelings grew more and more every day, and now even just being around Carmilla was like getting slapped by The Hulk in the chest. It was a nice feeling sometimes, when she looked up at Carmilla and saw her own thoughts reflected in Carmilla's face and the way she looked at Laura.   
  
Laura had managed to avoid Danny (even though she would occasionally join them for lunch and Laura would actually get up and leave) for the most part, ignoring every single apology that was thrown at her.   
  
No amount of apologies could make up for what she did.   
  
And it wasn't even the fact that Danny slept with someone else. On that level, Laura kind of sympathized. Because where her heart lacked with Danny, it definitely made up for with Carmilla. And although she hadn't done anything physical with Carmilla while her and Danny were together, her heart definitely cheated on Danny.   
  
It's the fact that Danny did it to hurt her that revolted Laura so much. She wanted to get back at her for something Laura couldn't even control, and that was just completely unfair and downright _cruel_.  
  
It was the morning of the big game and Carmilla was eating with the Slytherins. Laura found herself looking over there every two seconds, feeling a pang in her chest every time someone went to wish Carmilla luck and put a smile on her face.  
  
She selfishly remembered when she was the only one who could put a smile on her face.  
  
Though the smile Carmilla wears around other people is definitely different than the one she wears around Laura.  
  
And it actually did make Laura really happy that Carmilla was allowing herself to be happy now.  
  
She smiled down at her food and took the last bite of her toast, drinking it all down with orange juice. She made her way over to the Slytherin table, her nerves causing her heart to pump just a little bit harder, louder, faster...   
  
"Hey." She smiled at Carmilla, who was surrounded by the entire Slytherin Quidditch team. Including Elsie. She tried to ignore the growing pang in her chest and focused on Carmilla.   
  
"Hey." Carmilla returned her smile, turning her body slightly so she could face Laura better.   
  
"Good luck today. I hope you win." She tried to keep it vague, not wanting to have any deeper conversation with her when the rest of her team—including Elsie—could hear.   
  
"Thank you. I'll do my best."   
  
"Oh, I know you will. Well, that's all I wanted to say. I'll leave you to it." She started walking away, almost at the door when she heard footsteps behind her, followed by a "Laura, wait!"  
  
She turned around, stopping in her tracks when she saw Carmilla there. Her eyebrow shot up in question and Carmilla leaned in, wrapping her arms around Laura.   
  
"I'll be looking out for you. You're my good luck charm." Carmilla's whispered words were directed at her, the feeling of her breath against Laura's ears sending shivers down her spine. When they pulled away, Laura could swear her heart was beating faster than if she'd just run a 5k. She nodded, swallowing hard as she gave Carmilla a smile.   
  
"I'll be in my usual spot." Carmilla backed away slowly, her eyes still trained on Laura. Laura's cheeks reddened as she turned around, walking out of the Great Hall and through the castle, making her way to the Quidditch field.   
  
\------------  
  
Carmilla could swear she'd never been more nervous in her life. She gripped her broom harder, the bat settled comfortably in her right hand. She was scanning the crowds, finding Laura sitting in her usual spot, smiling up at her.  
  
This game was the most important game of the season. Gryffindor had won against the other teams as well, which meant whoever won this game, won the entire season. It was a big deal.  
  
Not to mention that Gryffindor was Slytherin's biggest rival. And then there's the pressing issue of _Danny_ being on the Gryffindor team. And, to Carmilla's advantage, she was a Chaser. Which meant she's exactly who Carmilla would target in this game. Which made Carmilla very, very satisfied.   
  
The whistle blew and the Quaffle, Bludgers, and Golden Snitch were up in the air immediately. Carmilla flew straight towards one of the Bludgers, having seen from her peripheral vision that Gryffindor caught the Quaffle. Although she would absolutely _love_ to let her emotions get the better of her and strictly go after Danny, winning this game was more important to her than hurting the girl who hurt Laura. Winning was everything for them. It validated this sport for Carmilla.   
  
She gritted her teeth and steadied her aim, hitting the Bludger right in the middle, watching it fly straight towards the Chaser who had the Quaffle. One of the Beaters on the other team dove in just in time to hit the Bludger away from him, watching it fly back towards Carmilla.   
  
A low growl bubbled at the back of her throat as she ducked, watching the Chaser score ten points for Gryffindor.   
  
Slytherin had the ball now, and she needed to focus on keeping all Bludgers away from the Chasers. She ducked and dove and swung and hit, allowing the Slytherin team to score ten points for Slytherin. She grinned and looked up at Will, giving him a thumbs up. They made a great team.   
  
She devised a new plan as soon as she saw Danny with the Quaffle. The amount of anger that was boiling inside her was completely unhealthy. She chased after the Bludger and hit it directly at Danny, watching smugly as Danny dropped the Quaffle and one of the Slytherins caught it. She lost balance for a minute but gained it back, looking up at Carmilla with a hardened glare.   
  
But all Carmilla could do was smile in return. She was getting to her. Good.   
  
The game continued for an hour, the teams scoring an equal amount of points in the longest hour of Carmilla's life. They were tied 60-60 now, the Golden Snitch clearly unable to be found as both Seekers searched frantically.   
  
Carmilla continued to target Danny for most of the game, which ticked Danny off beyond belief. At one point, she actually yelled at Carmilla to "fuck off!" It satisfied Carmilla's very, very dark soul.   
  
She spotted the Golden Snitch and yelled Matthew's name and he immediately flew after it, the Gryffindor seeker right next to him, though Matthew had about a two-inch advantage. Carmilla bit her lip and focused on the game below. Gryffindor had the Quaffle. One of the chasers passed the ball to Danny. This was her opportunity. She wanted to hurt her. She wanted to make her feel pain. She wanted her to pay for what she did to Laura.  
  
Her grip on her bat turned her knuckles white, but as soon as she hit the Bludger with that much force, she knew it would cause maximum damage.   
  
And it did.  
  
It hit Danny's arm with such force, she was knocked off her broom, a spell catching her fall before she could seriously get injured. The crowd gasped, a small silence hanging over them before she saw Matthew catch the golden snitch and heard a shocked voice yell "Slytherin wins!" into the speaker.  
  
\------------  
  
Laura knew that Bludger would hurt Danny as soon as she saw the anger on Carmilla's face when she hit it towards her. The initial shock kept her speechless as she watched Danny fall to the ground, a spell caused by one of the professors helping her land slowly and without force.   
  
Her heart actually fell to her stomach for a second when she thought Danny was actually going to die. She replayed every single horrible thing she said to Danny in that brief moment of doubt. And she felt awful.   
  
Guess it took Danny almost dying for her to actually want to forgive her.   
  
"Hey." She smiled down at a groggy looking Danny, her arm in a white sling as the nurse prepared a potion that would no doubt help heal Danny's broken bone.  
  
"So you're talking to me now? If I knew it would've taken falling off my broom to get you to speak to me, I would've done it weeks ago." Her tone was playful, which allowed Laura to breathe out the anxiety.   
  
She just smiled at her, sitting at the edge of her bed. "How're you feeling?"   
  
"Could be better. But they have me all drugged up, so I'm pretty content." She grinned at Laura for a moment, wiping the smile right off her face after a moment's hesitation. "She did it on purpose, you know."   
  
"I know." Laura looked away from Danny, feeling guiltier than ever that she was essentially the reason Danny was in this mess. "I'm sorry. I really had no idea she was going to do that. And I'm not going to let her off easy for it."   
  
"What does it matter, Laura? You want her. That's not going to change. Even if she would've punctured my skull, you would still be in love with her."   
  
"I'm not in love with her." Her voice was stern. Was she trying to convince Danny or herself? "And no, I would never forgive her if she had hurt you enough to either end your life or significantly alter it."   
  
"That's reassuring, I guess." She sighed, glancing over at the nurse. "Is she good to you?"   
  
"Danny."   
  
"Please, Laura. I just need to know she won't ever hurt you like that."   
  
"She won't." And she was absolutely sure of it.   
  
"You don't know what she's capable of. This game proved that."   
  
"It was her job to hit you with the Bludger. I know she was very forceful and you're hurt, but—"  
  
"Are you actually defending her right now?"   
  
"No. Yes. No. I don't know. I'm very mad at her." She looked at Danny and the look on her face was enough to make Laura hate herself for the rest of the conversation. "I just... I don't want to believe she would ever have hurt you if it weren't for her being a Beater."   
  
"Guess we'll never know, will we?"   
  
"Guess not."   
  
They sat in silence for a good two minutes until the nurse returned with the healing potion. "Here you go, dear. Drink up."   
  
Danny took the drink from her and gulped it down, making a face at the way it tasted. "Gross."   
  
Laura gave her a sympathetic smile, leaning over to gently squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry, Danny. I really am."   
  
"I know. It's not your fault."   
  
It is, though.   
  
"Yeah... Well, I'll let you get some rest. Feel better."   
  
"I'll try. And you get some rest, too, okay? I know how little sleep you allow yourself to have and it's not healthy."   
  
"Okay. I'll try." She already knew it wouldn't happen, but she just wanted to satisfy Danny for at least a minute.   
  
"See you later?"   
  
"You will. I promise." She gave Danny one last smile and got up, walking out of the hospital wing.   
  
\------------  
  
Carmilla was pacing around the hallway near the Hufflepuff common room, waiting nervously for Laura to return.   
  
Her team was celebrating the championship, but she wasn't exactly in the mood for celebration.   
  
Since the day she'd met Laura, she'd never, ever seen her look at her like she was disappointed.   
  
Until today.  
  
As soon as she saw Danny fall, her face averted to Laura, and the anger and hurt on her face was not worth the satisfaction it gave Carmilla to hurt someone who hurt Laura, even if the damage she caused wasn't crucial.   
  
Why did she have to be so stupid? Why did she let her emotions get the better of her? Why? Laura will always look at her like that now. She will always hate her.  
  
Her chest felt heavy and she felt like she'd been waiting for hours before Laura made an appearance. She took one look at Carmilla standing there and looked utterly disgusted, moving past her as she focused on getting to the common room.   
  
"Laura, wait!" She ran after Laura, grabbing her by the arm, but Laura pulled her hand back so fast, she almost hit herself in the face.   
  
"Don't. I don't want to hear it."   
  
"Please, just let me explain."   
  
"There's nothing to explain. She could've died." She stopped walking then, giving Carmilla the most pained expression she'd ever seen from her.   
  
"I know that what I did was stupid, and I should regret it, but I don't. She's alive. She hurt you, Laura. All I did was something I've done in a game before, except other times it was for the game and this time I let my emotions get the best of me. But I don't care, Laura. I'm glad she's okay, but god damn it, she deserved it!"   
  
"Would you regret it if she would've died?"   
  
"She wouldn't have died. People have fallen off broomsticks before. This is a magic school. I never would've done that if I thought she had any chance of not making it. You know that. You know me." Carmilla's voice was soft, pleading.   
  
"Do I?" Well, that hurt.   
  
"Yes." She took a step towards her, taking both of Laura's hands in hers. Laura kept her hands in Carmilla's this time, but she was still having a hard time looking her directly in the eyes.   
  
"Look at me. Please."   
  
Laura shook her head slightly, her eyes starting to fill with tears.   
  
"Laura."   
  
"What?!" Her voice was harsh, but when she looked at Carmilla, her face softened slightly, making Carmilla's chest tighten vaguely.   
  
"You know my heart." And to prove to Laura that she did indeed know Carmilla's heart, she leaned in and pressed her lips against Laura's.  
  
\------------  
  
The initial shock had left Laura immobile, her entire body frozen as Carmilla brushed her lips against hers. When Carmilla pulled away, she was frowning, which made Laura's heart sink.   
  
She should be mad, but she's not. She can't be. Not when Carmilla did that. Not when Carmilla finally let her guard down enough to let herself feel something with Laura.   
  
So, instead of doing nothing, Laura stopped being an asshole for the day and grabbed a retreating Carmilla by the shoulders, standing on her tip toes to press a kiss to Carmilla's lips.  
  
Her lips are soft. They move against hers slowly as their noses bump together while they move their heads slightly to get a better angle for the kiss. Laura could feel her heart pounding like a sledgehammer, the butterflies in her stomach relentless.  
  
She was kissing Carmilla Karnstein.   
  
And it was passionate. It was exciting. It was unlike any kiss she'd ever experienced.  
  
She wanted more. She _needed_ more. She gently parted her lips, giving Carmilla's tongue access to her mouth. She was humming into her mouth, which honestly made Laura want to take Carmilla to her dorm and risk everything just to be with her for the night.   
  
When they finally pulled away, it was because both of them started smiling into the kiss and it became difficult and sloppy. Laura giggled, completely aware of how red she probably was. Carmilla bit her lip, and all Laura could think of was how those lips were just pressed against hers a minute ago.  
  
\------------  
  
The kiss was everything she imagined it would be. And more. Laura exceeded any expectations Carmilla had. She was too good to be true, and Carmilla silently hoped that her mother never found out about this. She dealt with Ell leaving, but she didn't think she would ever be able to deal with Laura leaving.  
  
This was someone she couldn't ever imagine leaving her life. This was someone she refused to have taken away from her.   
  
As soon as the thought hit her, she wiped the smile off of her face and looked around, making sure no one was around to witness what they'd just done.   
  
"Carmilla? What's wrong?"   
  
She snapped out of it, turning back towards Laura. "There's something you need to know."   
  
Although she really didn't want to have this talk with Laura, she knew she had to. Public displays of affection were not something that could be shared between the two of them. Not in her mother's school.  
  
She pulled Laura to that hideaway hallway that Laura had taken her to the other day, sighing heavily as they both sat down facing each other.   
  
Laura frowned. "What is it?"   
  
"Okay. So... I had this girlfriend named Ell." She could already see the panic settling in Laura's chest. "She was... She was my first love. My only love. Anyway, my mom found out about us and... Well, turns out she's actually really homophobic and she sent her off to another school because she didn't want her anywhere near me and we can't do this in public or she'll expel you too and I'm so sorry, Laura, I'm _so_ sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't think I'd ever let it get this far."   
  
She took a breath, looking away from Laura. She was fearing her reaction. She didn't know if she'd want to quit this whole thing because she knew Carmilla wasn't worth the trouble.   
  
"Your mom... Sent someone you love away... Just because she was a girl?" She sounded so sad. It broke Carmilla's heart.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Oh my god, Carmilla, I'm so sorry." She leaned over and sat beside Carmilla, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. Well, this was at least a better reaction than what she'd initially anticipated.   
  
Carmilla sunk into the hug, wrapping her arms back around Laura. "It's okay, cupcake. I won't let that happen to you."   
  
"I wish we could do something about this. I wish we could get rid of her. I mean, I know she's your mom, but there has to be someone else who could do her job better—"   
  
"I know, cutie. Believe me, I wish we could, too. But we can't. She has all the power over us. All we can do is make sure she doesn't catch us. And I know—" She pulled away, looking Laura sternly in the eyes. "I know I'm not worth all this trouble, so if you didn't want to stay, I wouldn't blame—"  
  
"Carmilla."   
  
"And I've been trying so hard to stay away from you and not have this friendship turn romantic because I don't want to ever see anything bad happen to you and I jus—"  
  
She was cut off by Laura's lips on hers. She couldn't help but smile into the kiss, which caused Laura to smile, making them pull away from each other.   
  
She sighed happily, leaning her head against Laura's shoulder.   
  
"You're worth all the trouble in the world."   
  
She'd never smiled so big in her entire life.  
  
\------------  
  
Carmilla walked Laura back to the Hufflepuff common room, not quite holding hands, but their knuckles kept brushing against each other with how close they were walking. They were both such a smiling, giddy mess, that Carmilla was sure if anyone saw the two of them, they would just know.   
  
Just before they climbed down the stairs, Carmilla looked around to make sure no one was there before giving Laura a quick peck. It turned Laura's cheeks that beautiful shade of pink that was way too adorable and couldn't ever go unnoticed.   
  
She bit her lip, trying to contain the urge to stop Laura right here, right now and kiss her as passionately as she kissed her before.   
  
This was definitely going to require a lot more self control than Carmilla even has. But she had to do it. She had to be strong and fight all of the urges because if she didn't, that meant Laura would be gone.  
  
And she absolutely would not have that happen under any circumstances.  
  
Even if that meant standing up to her mother. Which would no doubt fix nothing and just get them both in trouble.   
  
As they were leaning against the wall, Carmilla thought of something, wondering if she should bring it up or not.  
  
She decided to do it.   
  
"So... I know that we just kissed and it doesn't really entitle either of us to anything, but I really like you and I hope you don't think that kiss meant nothing to me. Because, Laura, it meant everything."   
  
"I know. I know your heart, remember?" She smiled at Carmilla, reaching over to grab her hand. Carmilla let her for a moment before breaking the contact. "I really like you, too."   
  
"Good. I just wanted to make that clear. And I know you're not ready to jump into anything after only a month, so I want you to know there's no rush. No pressure. I'll be here whenever you're ready for anything."   
  
"Carmilla, I've been ready for you since I was with Danny."   
  
She looked down, trying so hard to hide that grin from Laura.  
  
But Laura pulled her face up, cupping her cheeks as she looked her directly in the eyes. "I want you."   
  
"I want you, too." Carmilla's voice was barely a whisper.   
  
"Great. Then it's settled." Laura smiled, giving Carmilla one last peck before walking away and into the entrance to the common room.   
  
\------------  
  
She walked back towards the Slytherin common room feeling like she was on top of the world. Nothing could possibly make her feel any happier than she does right now.   
  
The celebrations were no doubt still taking place, but there was one thing she needed to do before she could allow herself to be happy about the game.   
  
She groaned at her recent state of kindness and reluctantly made her way to the hospital wing, opening the door as quietly as possible.   
  
Danny was the only person in there right now, which Carmilla was suddenly grateful for. But as soon as Danny saw her, she sat up, her eyes widening in terror.   
  
"What are you doing here? Get out!"   
  
"I'm here to, uhm, apologize."   
  
"I don't need your apology. I'm doing just fine without it."   
  
"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it because for some reason, Laura seems to care about you. And if it'll make Laura happy for me to come here and apologize to you, then it's what I'm doing. Now just accept it so I can leave and not have to continue talking to you."   
  
"You really care about her, don't you?"   
  
"Obviously."   
  
"Fine. Apology accepted. You can leave now."  
  
"Level with me for a minute. Laura isn't someone that you can resist caring about. She isn't someone you would just hurt. So why'd you do it?"   
  
"I don't owe you any explanations."   
  
"You're right. You don't. But you owe them to Laura. You really hurt her."   
  
"Thanks for telling me something that's been making me unable to sleep for weeks now. I really appreciate you coming here just to tell me how much I hurt her."   
  
"I can see why she liked you."   
  
She saw the look that overcame Danny's face when Carmilla used the past tense instead of present tense. It stung her. She could tell.  
  
"Excuse me?"   
  
"You're damaged. She seems to think she can fix what's broken."   
  
"At least we agree on something."   
  
"Alright, well. I hope your arm feels better."   
  
She walked out of there without another word, feeling a huge weight lift off her shoulders.   
  
She was sure Laura would be happy to hear she did that. Or at least she hoped she would be.   
  
When she returned to the Slytherin common room, everyone shouted and cheered for her. She didn't even bother trying to hide her smile.  
  
She celebrated with them until about three in the morning.  
  
Little did they know what else she was celebrating.   
  
It was the best night she could remember having in a really, really long time.  
  
Maybe things weren't always meant to be broken after all.  
  
Maybe she _could_ be fixed.  
  
Maybe Laura was just the answer to everything.  
  
Maybe.


End file.
